Once, I walked into an audition for a show and someone loudly made the catty comment that “pretty was wasted on [me].”  I still remember that to this day.  I remember it because it initially was a blow to my ego, because, well, DAMN, but then.. the more I thought about it.. I was all, “Wow.  They think I’m pretty?”  And then later, it occurred to me that they were scared shitless that I had walked in the room.  I was that much of a threat to them.

(This is not to toot my own horn.  I am not intimidating.  I am the girl who poos on toilet seats, for crissakes.)

I would love to say that I don’t understand being ugly about someone, but I do understand.  I understand that it comes from a very dark, very unhappy place.  I understand that it’s in my tendencies to tend my own wounds by lashing out at others.  I know this about myself, and so I will often have to temper my rage and funnel it into something more positive.. or at the very least entertaining.. like giving my child a makeover.

I am blessed enough and wise enough now that I don’t often find the need to do that.  I’ve come to decide who in my life to dislike (very, very few.. like, 0.45 people) and whom to remain ambivalent about (most).  When I read or hear something that irks me momentarily, that most often gets filed away as “meh”.  Not worth my ire, not worth my energy.

(Usually worth an email or three to my snarky friends.)

The karmic circle of life can be a bitch.  It doesn’t need your help.

Pictures are forthcoming, mainly because I didn’t take any so I’ll have to gank them from others, but yesterday was the Binja’s First Birthday Extravaganza.

I had no idea my house was small until we crammed people in it.  And I mean CRAMMED.  There were children dining UNDER my kitchen table, for cryin’ out loud.  There was a storytime corner in my kitchen.  It was insanity.  A happy, glad-I-did-it kind of insanity.

My  back, which I twerked (it’s a technical term) on Friday hoisting my massive baby over a half-door, is now REALLY REALLY angry at me.  I medicated to get through yesterday but now I’m taking it easy.  

My child had a blast yesterday.  Sure, he was initially overwhelmed when Bryan’s family showed up early (12:30), but by the time the rest of the guests arrived, he had stopped whimpering and was content to crawl around and greet everyone.  He did that and then settled into a corner with balloons and stuffed monkeys.  We had to coerce him out of there.  He likes balloons.

Presents were fun, although once he got the Seuss quilt that Aunt Steph made him, he was ready to hunker down for a nap.  Little did he know he had a homemade red velvet cake to look forward to!

I stripped him down to his waist and sat him in the chair with the cake in front of him.  Of course, you crowd fifty adults and ten small children around a highchair and watch one baby, and they tend to get a little stagefright, so I stuck my finger in the cream cheese icing and shoved it in his mouth.  It was over from there.  And the pics will be worth waiting for, but let me just say.. Binja?  DEFINITELY MY CHILD.

It was a fabulous time, because we got to see and play with people I haven’t seen in far too long (AndyZ, Jillian, Caroline), but most amazing was my child when everyone left.  After sleeping for a good two hours (it’s tiring, being the social butterfly he is), Binja woke up and started standing unassisted.  A few times, he successfully took a few steps, but we think we’re merely days away from him walking.

Days like yesterday made me thrilled to have such an amazing little boy, but it also made me incredibly proud and thankful to have such an amazing village in which to raise him.

Two Reasons We Actually Did a Happy Dance When Our Meds Arrived Yesterday:

#1

While I was doing the dishes last night, I asked Bryan to wrap up the leftovers from dinner in a Tupperware thingie and put it in the fridge.  Once he had opened the door to put it in the fridge, I said, “While you’re in there, can you hand me that leftover chilli?  And any other leftovers in the fridge?  And go ahead and throw away those rolls and that ham.”

He took the requested items to the garbage can and disposed of them, then returned to the fridge.  He dutifully handed me the chilli, a bowl of Binja leftovers, and.. a warm Tupperware bowl.  Then he looked and me quizzically and asked, “What’s in there, anyway?”

Um, those would be the leftovers you JUST placed in there.  Like, two minutes ago.  You know, that’s why it was still warm.

#2

While I was watching Noggin with Binja this morning, Moose A. Moose was talking about manners, specifically using “please”, “thank you”, and “excuse me.”  I’m all about manners, so he had my full attention.

Moose was wanting to buy some flowers from an absent-minded dog, and he couldn’t get his attention.  So Moose said, “I know two magical words that will get his attention.  Say it with me.. ‘excuse me!’.  Great job!”

And I sat there for another five minutes, waiting for the OTHER word.  I kept grumbling, “He said TWO words.  Where’s the other word?  Why is he slighting the manners lessons?!”

Excuse. Me.  Two words, Sarah.  Lord.

BONUS:

I bought stockings the other day, because we don’t have any.  I found these simple, pretty stockings at Target that had initials on them, and I thought, “Hey, why not?  These will hold shit.”

The B and the S were obvious, but then I picked this one up.

At first glance, I thought it was a J.  But the more I looked at it, I wasn’t sure.  IS IT A J?!  Or an uppercase I?  Or a T?  So I’m heading back to Target today in the hopes that they have a J or a T or something else that I can compare it with.  Cause I?  Am stoopid.