I am pretty lost this week, because this is the week I start meticulously planning my new year. I sit down with my planner, and I highlight and color-code and pencil in and sharpie in and what have you because NEW YEAR! NEW ME! NEW US!
And this year, I try to do that and I’m all, Hm. But I’m having a baby midway through it, so.. and then I’m lost. I can’t MAKE plans. I can’t resolve to run so many miles a week, because I can’t run right now. I can’t resolve to lose so many pounds, because I’m probably going to (and should!) gain quite a few more by June. I can’t resolve to get back in school, because I’M ALREADY THERE.
What do I do to have a better Me in the New Year?
Things that we do need to do are so massive that a to-do list can’t encompass all of them. (See: Need larger cars and house.) I would love if we had a bit more security around Bryan’s job situation, but that’s kind of out of our control anyway. Um, I’d love to be a size six by the end of 2013, but C’MON.
So, after staring at a blinking cursor for half an hour (after laying awake at night contemplating this for a week), here’s what I came up with.
Be pregnant. Enjoy it. Make it meaningful. Last night, I lay in bed with Bryan, both of us on our phones, and .. the baby got hiccups. The little rhythmic flutter made me giggle and smile and I realized that, um, hey! There’s a baby in there! I am the most miserable pregnant woman on the face of the earth (and for no reason! my pregnancies are textbook easy!), and I constantly just bemoan being pregnant. But maybe I need to make a concerted effort to enjoy this. It’s my last. It’s a baby. It’s not the end of the world.
Wiggle room is not a bad thing. I briefly talked about this in my last post, about how I need to allow myself some room to grow in the next year. This year presents me a new challenge at work, and it’s one that I’ll have to learn some skill for. This is both exciting and harrowing for me. I’m feeling the stress of not being perfect right away – and this particular gig is very high-level and visible, so not a lot of room for error – but it’s a great opportunity. It’s like being cast in a role that you’re not ready to take on, but knowing that you can get there. And I’ll need wiggle room for it to work. And it may not work. But I’d rather try and fail than wonder what I could’ve done if I tried.
Stop being an ass to my husband. (this one supplied by Bryan) This will be really easy as soon as he stops being such a moron.
Wait, no, he said GIVE more ass to my husband. (edited by Bryan) 1) Sorry that this took this turn, and 2) I’M GESTATING A PERSON RIGHT NOW, BRYAN. Moron.
More overnight adventures as long as we can. It wasn’t until I started looking through 2012 that I realized how much our little spontaneous overnight trips really meant to me. I got great pictures, we got to breathe different air, and it was awesome. I know that it will be at least mid 2014 before we can start pulling those off again, so I’d like to get in a couple more while we can all just hop in the car and go.
Refocus finances. We actually had a BANNER year when it comes to finances. I’m as surprised as you! Having said that, we have a couple of changes down the pipe that we need to plan for. We need to sit down and figure out what expenses aren’t necessary or productive (i.e. my hair, private school), and refocus that money on things like formula, diapers, daycare. (Jebus. Not looking forward to that.) We’re now living more than comfortably, and I’d love if we could continue that even though we’ve got a new bundle of joy coming our way.
Balance. This is the hardest for me. I’m pretty bad about killing myself so no one else has to be put out. I need to balance home/work, obviously, but I also need to balance mom/student as well as wife/mother. Also Sarah needs some time in there. So while I don’t know HOW, exactly, that’s a priority this year. Before, you know, I have MORE children tugging at me.
Of course, as always, I reserve every right to completely laugh at this list about two months in and completely render it useless.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!