UGH. I realized yesterday that I? Am guilty of the Man Cold. I AM. I am trying not to be all Man Coldy about this here illness, but my GOD, I am so tired of hacking up lungs everywhere!
Truth be told, because I exercise and drink water and take vitamins and whatever else, I rarely get ill any more. I had the asthma thing last spring, but hey! That’s asthma. So when I do get ill, I tend to – naturally – assume it’s cancer and that I’m dying. This cough? Clearly consumption or the bubonic plague.
Either way, I’ve never been the type of person to get anything respiratory. I get sinus stuff often, but this is foreign to me so I’m clearly FAR MORE SICK THAN ANYONE ELSE AROUND. Even Bryan, who had a four hour root canal on Friday, IS NOWHERE NEAR MY SUFFERING. I am awful. (Also, I haven’t slept in about a week because of the hacking.)
So anyway. I’m not feeling well. But these are some things that maybe help or soothe me in my woe.
Now, I know I’m weird, but I feel like I often smell sick when I’m not feeling well. I can tell my body changes chemistry. Does anyone else do that? Or am I the weirdo? (Clearly we all know the answer to that one.) Anyway, on a whim, I picked up some body oil at Kroger. Now, although Neutrogena Body Oil is what I went to purchase, to be honest? I got the Kroger brand which was half price. LOVE IT. Smells light and clean, like gardenias, and I put it on after the shower, before I towel off. It’s perfect and moisturizing, but not heavy in this heat. Also, I don’t smell sick anymore and it costs, like, $4.
I CAN’T FIND THESE ANYWHERE. But if I could, these would be in my shower every morning. These Shower Tablets come in a couple of different scents, and since I don’t have a bathtub in my bathroom, this would be lovely in lavender or eucalyptus to soothe my troubled lungs. There used to be a more generic version of these available in drugstores – Shower Soothers, I think they were called? – but I can’t find those either. They must’ve contained some meth-y ingredients. As do all good things.
Shut up: THESE ARE NOT JUST FOR KIDS. I love these things. It’s like a Vicks Vapor Rub massage, all night long. These waterless nightlights release vapor smells as you sleep (for about eight hours, whether you sleep or not) to help you stay open and uncongested all night. Spellcheck says uncongested is not a word. Spellcheck has never experienced congestion, I take it. But we keep these stashed all over the house all through the winter and spring, so I was more than thrilled to pull them back out now that I’m all coughy.
While I do not have a bathtub, the boys do. (Sure, I could borrow it, but all you moms have to agree with me that clearing out the bathtub of toys and whatnot does not exactly set the tone for a relaxing bath.) Nevertheless, if I did take a bath, I would use half a bottle of this. This Soothing Vapor Bath is pretty amazing stuff. We always have this around as well, and I huff it quite a bit when I’m ill. I’m sure they’d prefer I use a different terminology than “huffing”, but that’s pretty appropriate, considering.
I’m pretty sure there’s no scientific evidence to back it up, but the best remedy I’ve found for a cold/cough/what have you is snuggles from a snuggle puppy. Now, the snuggle puppy is pretty rare, seeing as that our local specimen is four-and-a-half and doesn’t sit still for very long, but the snuggles are pretty damn powerful. Apply liberally as needed and then breathe deeply.