Someone walked in on me talking to a printer today.
Which is not that unusual, sadly. I talk to printers a lot. I coax them. I encourage them. I whisper sweet nothings in Tray 2.
Does it help? Who knows. The paper either prints or it doesn’t; it jams or it doesn’t. I find that the level of importance of the print job is in direct correlation to how ineffective the printer is feeling that day.
Of course, she asked if my talking to the printer helped. “Of course it does!” I answered. (I mean, otherwise, I’d be labeled as CRAZY, right? Sitting there, stroking a printer while coaxing it along in sing-song tones?) “Didn’t you believe you had special powers as a kid?”
Man, I did. I totally believed that 1) I could summon wind and 2) I was the only person in a sea of robots that were human look-a-likes. Straight up. I believed both of those things with the same certainty that I could tell you my eyes were brown.
I don’t know where the wind thing came from. To my recollection, I was never really talented at creating wind where there was none. I was, however, masterful at wishing for stronger wind on days that were already windy. So maybe I just never reached my full potential there.
And the robot thing .. well, I work in the engineering industry. I still feel this way a large part of the time.
Somewhere along the way, obviously, the world beats out of us the belief that we can be extraordinary. We are pushed down by the thumb of The Man, told to be uniform, and on top of that we’re reminded that we’re slowly dying anyway so what good would powers do you?
I asked her if she had any special powers when she was young. I suggested what we taught the boys – that you can make the stoplights change if you try hard enough. With Tony, we told him to blow hard enough and they’ll change. This was fun until he almost passed out at a malfunctioning red light.
I still think I have superpowers, and I’m holding on to them dearly. I have an intuition about people that is super keen, to the point where I physically react to someone’s .. aura? .. soul? dunno. I can influence people well. I USE THESE POWERS FOR GOOD, PROMISE.
What powers did you think you had as a kid?
(What powers do you think you have now?)