So! Words! I put them here!
I’ve only mentioned this in, oh, about every post since it happened, but my site is now blocked at my place of work. I’m all about forcing productivity, but you know? It takes me as long to type out a post – if that – as it does for most smokers to finish one cig. I’ve said for years that blogging is my smoke break. It gives me a mental break.
Now I don’t have that during the day.
I’m kind of blown away at how this has affected my mood at work. I’m very short-tempered now, quick to anger and slow to hold my tongue. In short: I am like an addict who has quit cold-turkey. There is no blogging patch to step down cravings.
As part of my .. recovery? steps? I don’t know .. I’m forcing time for myself. Typically, I work all day, then mother until the kids are in bed, and then my husband gets my undivided attention. No one has set this rule for myself but me, but I follow it to the letter or I feel like a HORRIBLE [insert responsibility here]. So now I’m trying to be better about taking time for myself to go running, or to sit down and write a post. I’m not saying I’m 100% successful, but I’m trying.
Also, I ran over 3.5 miles with my running group this week. It wasn’t easy and I wasn’t great at it, but man, did I feel like such a badass at the end of it. Like, seriously, I probably could’ve gone to an even four miles. Even more odd? I AM MAKING PLANS TO RUN WITH FOLKS AFTER THIS RUNNING GROUP IS OVER. There are about five women who I typically pace with on a run, and we enjoy eachother’s company and we were all, “Hey, let’s do this some more.” CRAZY PANTS, IS WHAT THAT IS.
I also feel the need to tell you that I hate running. Like, I contemplate suicide with every single step. I am not one of those runners who can zone out during a run and TADA! it’s fourteen miles later. I WISH I WAS OH GOD DO I WISH. Instead, every step makes me wonder why I even took the first one and every breath is so focused to get down to the bottom of your lung because even though I’m medicated for asthma now, there are still bad days where breathing is a luxury. BUT. Every time I finish a run and I cool down, I feel like I’m glowing with bad-assedness. Is too a word.
I drove away from that run thinking, Huh. I could do a 10K, you know? This is how addicts think.
Finally, I want to direct you to some stuff that I’ve been meaning to share with y’all.
First of all, my very sweet friend Linda has some well-deserved good news to share. I love Linda more than my luggage for many reasons, some of which being that we both have a gaggle of men in our homes but also when I wrote for her fitness blog, she did not flinch at my naming a post “Christ on a Cracker, That Sucked So Hard”.
Secondly, another sweet friend of mine sent me a happy text picture today that is not my news to share, but in celebration of it, I will direct you to the best single-purpose Tumblr since Paula Deen Riding Things: Chandler Dances on Things.
Thirdly, if that’s even a word, Bryan stumbled upon this late Sunday night and it made us both cry. When you have a little boy who’s just a tad different, you want the world to see the amazing things in him that you see. It happened when Caine’s Arcade received a flashmob.
Lastly, this post from Princess Nebraska. I .. I could’ve written this myself. Man, I HAVE written this in my head a million times over. But I never put together the last part of it until she put it down in text. And suddenly .. yeah. That’s me. I need to find me.