Archive | February 20, 2012

You Know I Can VOTE Now, Right?

I made this grandstand proclamation some weeks back that I would start doing an SNL recap. Then I promptly stopped watching. So I’m really impressed with my own stick-to-it-iveness there.

My need to stop watching coincided with two very important events. 1) it stopped being funny. Not even chuckle-inducing, it suddenly became painful to watch. I’m sorry, but if you have a sketch as promising as “You Can Do Anything”, a show encouraging folks of my generation to just start blogging about something and you can be a professional at it and then it FAILS TO DELIVER? Fundamental failure there, my friends.2) Suddenly, my rights to my own ovaries were being questioned.

Yep. I’m about to get political.

But see, not really. In my eyes? I’m not speaking politically at all. I AM laying claims to my own body and my choices regarding such, and for some reason, in the past two weeks, this has been declared a political decision.

It started when Obama said that maybe insurance companies should be legally required to offer contraceptives, even if business-owners fundamentally/religiously disagreed with contraceptives in general. I .. I don’t know. I realize that my point of view on this is very limited: I don’t have any ideology to color it in any way. I know a lot of folks who have religious objections to contraceptives, and that’s fine. Dude, we live in this amazing country that allows you the freedom to do that! And worship whatever you wish! And that is AWESOME.

But .. um .. I don’t have such objections. So, regardless of whom I work for, I would like some contraceptives, please. I .. I am inclined to think that it should be a rule. A law. What have you. I think that is .. well, I’ll say it’s fundamental for women’s rights.

(Also, a stunning statistic was released that same week that had me believing NBC made it up: 98% of Catholic women polled had used some form of contraception. But then it was echoed on NPR, so .. NPR does their homework, is what I’m saying.)

Okay, so all that aside, one of Santorum’s backers then came out and jokingly said that he didn’t understand all of the commotion surrounding this, he didn’t understand America’s preoccupation with sex. Why, in his day (he joked), women held an aspirin between their legs for contraception! HA HA HA HA, OH. OH, I DO SO ENJOY YOU LAUGHING ABOUT MY BODY. PLEASE, NOW JOKE ABOUT HOW WE COULDN’T VOTE IN YOUR DAY, EITHER.

Then! OH, THEN.

Wait, first. First, let me say that I never really found Rick Santorum to be much more than a mosquito on my radar. Occasionally, I’d hear this random buzzing, but a quick swat would dissipate it. But now? Now, he and his sweater vests and his misogyny scare the placenta out of me.

So Santorum was quipping about how he believed that some prenatal care should not be covered by insurance because it would increase abortion rates. The interviewer I heard gave him a chance to clarify that response (i.e. BACKTRACK THE FUCK UP), but .. he didn’t backtrack. He moved forward. He stated that he believed some prenatal care – specifically amniocentesis procedures – should not be covered because “they increase abortion rates”.


By his logic, women (and only women; he never mentions men being involved in abortion decisions, oddly enough) only have an amniocentesis if they are worried of abnormalities or defects or what have you, and if they find anything less than perfect in the test, they abort.

This is also a man who believes that the preferred method of contraception should be the rhythm method.

Okay, look. Just like I praised our freedom of religion earlier, I feel the EXACT same way about your political association. I have been a Democrat for all of my voting years, but admittedly, I work on Republican-funded contracts. (.. so far.) I honestly do not mind which way you vote.

But ladies, I just want you to KNOW what is happening out there. I want you to know that suddenly, decisions are being made for us akin to 1900. We are suddenly being relegated to second-class citizens. And we are just women! Can you imagine the trickle-down effect this will have on the Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual/Transgender community?

I would almost – ALMOST – be tolerant of the contraceptive issue if I felt a fair panel was being created to judge it. But no women were invited to participate. NONE. NADA. And the few that tried to participate were rejected. Because “this is not a women’s rights issue. This is a religious issue.”

So women are not allowed to choose in either the medical OR the religious forums.

I am VERY, VERY CONCERNED. And when I saw Amy Poehler pop in on SNL’s Weekend Update, I hoped she would give voice to my frustration and fear.

She tried, but even she could not adequately articulate my rage.

Because we are way past “REALLY?!”

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