Archive | January, 2012

C’mon, You Know You Have a List.

We all have a list, right?

There’s THE LIST, where you have a list of Celebrities that you are TOTALLY allowed to get with and your significant other cannot begrudge you for it. You know, in the likelihood that you actually run into Angelina Jolie and she’s willing to throw down with you. (Okay, that was ENTIRELY for clarification. Neither myself nor Bryan has Angelina on our list. Myself because she’s too tall and Bryan because she’s been with Billy Bob Thornton.)(Yes, we’ve discussed this.)

Typically you get some set number of celebs to include – I think we’ve set  five in my house – and then you can rotate as you see fit. For instance, whereas Leslie Nielsen was once on my list, he is now dead, and therefore can be replaced. (ON MY LIST; NEVER IN MY HEART, LESLIE. Lt. Frank Dreben 4-EVA.)

I love hearing everyone’s lists! Because, let’s face it. Your list is personalized. You created your list for your own reasons, and it’s rarely going to mesh with some other list. Your list is totally you! So let’s talk about our lists.

Disclaimer: there is no shame here. Your list will be totally awesome because of reasons only you understand, and you don’t have to AT ALL justify your list! Also awesome: if no one else agrees with your choices, that is MORE CELEB FOR YOU!

Without further ado, My List.

1. Mandy Patinkin –

Yes, my love for him began with A Princess Bride (OBVIOUSLY), but it didn’t end there. Have you ever heard this man sing? OH, it is like manna for the ears. I once got the joy of seeing him perform live when I was 17 in Nashville, and to this day, it’s one of my favorite live performances I’ve ever seen. So, so lovely.

2. Morris Chestnut

Most recently, you’ve seen Mr. Chestnut on American Horror Story as the rent-a-cop we all wanted Connie Britton to take advantage of, but I’ve loved him since Two Can Play that Game. I don’t know why I loved that movie, but I did. Like, a lot. And I love Morris’ versatility and .. he does this thing where he licks his lips, LL Cool J style, and .. well, I like him. A lot.

3. Egon Spangler

And – no – I don’t mean Harold Ramis. (Although, yes, in his prime, he was included.) I have an abnormal thing for the character of Egon Spengler from Ghostbusters. I like nerdy guys. And while it may seem like a waste of space on My List to add a fictional character, I like to think of it as a free space, because you never know what remake may happen of the series and this leaves me open for any casting. I think Egon himself would appreciate that level of logic and foresight.

4. Tim Curry

Um, even that picture makes me feel things. I don’t care; if you say you don’t find Tim Curry at least a little hot in at least ONE of his millions of hot roles, I’ll call you a liar. It’s hard for me to figure out what really cemented his role on this list, but I’m leaning toward the Darkness in Legend. It’s probably the cloven hoofs. Those really do it for me.

5. William Katt

I know. 90% of you went Who? and that’s okay because that means I have that much more opportunity to win him over with my love and adoration. I found William (Mr. Katt if you’re nasty) on a Broadway production of Stephen Schwartz’s musical Pippin, in which he played the lead role. (Opposite Ben Vereen, which was an AMAZING cast.) And he had such a pretty, pretty voice. And a baby face. And those blonde curls! And then I fell in love with reruns of Greatest American Hero and was sold. Also, if you DO know him and adore him like I do .. don’t google recent images of him. I’ll save you my pain.

In Memoriam, Because I Apparently Like Older Men:

Gregory Hines
Leslie Nielsen
Jack Lemon

Okay, fess up. Who’s on your List?

Comments { 57 }

No, Seriously, Sarah: Go Run Already.

So, I KNOW THIS WILL BE SHOCKING, but I tend to not deal with stress very well.

Oh, on the OUTSIDE, I’m fine. I still smile a lot and I’ll still laugh a lot, but I internalize it ALL. And whether or not you believe in this sort of thing, I am a total empath. This means I tend to internalize not only MY personal emotions, but those around me as well. Soooooo throw in a family crisis in my own house and I’m not so good.

I had a Goal of 2012 to Run at Least 9 Miles a Week. We are now four weeks into the year and I have run a total of ZERO MILES. ZERO. Here, let me make that easier for you to read: 0. Goose egg.

Now, no one is in charge of me but me and all that jazz, but .. the last two or three weeks have been MAGNIFICENTLY AWFUL in my home. We have been fortunate if we can get everyone where they need to go during the day, and our nights have been spent in preparations for the next day’s attack. Every night. For weeks. So, yes. I could’ve gotten up at dawn to go running. But I haven’t.

Also, there is the issue of my shoes.

The week before I ran my first 5K, Bryan asked me to go be fitted for actual running shoes. Up until that point, I had been using my old New Balances, which – SERIOUSLY – I had worn for over ten years, through waitressing and whatnot. (I loved those shoes.) And I did, I went and got fitted for some real running shoes. I spent an insane amount of money on shoes (Asics something or other) and inserts (.. the blue ones?) and all that stuff, and I went on to run probably 12 or so 5Ks in them.

That was early 2009. I AM STILL WEARING THOSE SHOES.

I’ve been putting off getting new shoes because there is little else in the world that is worse than running in bad shoes. So I’m terrified of getting the wrong shoes. AND yes, I could go get fitted again and have them watch my stride and that’s PROBABLY WHAT I SHOULD DO, but I don’t want to spend gobs of money again. Also time. I am short on time.

So I’ve been putting it off, even though my knee has been KILLING me in my old shoes, and my hips hurt, and oh yeah my back, and also my ankle pops a lot, and .. then, Sunday, I laced up my sneaks to see that my PINKY TOE was coming out of the side of it.

Kim wrote a great piece this morning about just getting some new shoes and running already.

Looks like I’ll be doing just that.

I need to start putting myself in the queue. Maybe not first, second, or even third, but in the queue. It’s time that I say, Okay, timeout, I need some time too. And maybe some fancy shoes will give me the backbone to do that.

I look back at the girl who started running for no particular reason and went on to run a 5K in four weeks and I look at how proud of herself she clearly is, and how she holds herself and I am despondent that she is no longer with me.

But she can be.

Comments { 7 }

In Which I Astound You with My Domesticity.

Bryan and I often joke that if we were to be stuck in the apocalypse (zombie or otherwise), we’d be screwed. Because, um, we’re a family of talkers. If you need a spokesperson, LOOK NO FURTHER! If you want to shoot a gun or skin a deer or carve a shiv, well, keep on moving.

Sadly, we are ill-prepared.

BUT! I thought about this today! I am crazy domesticated! I can cook! And not only that, I can make most of what I use!

This weekend, for instance, I will be making another batch of my homemade detergent, another batch of fabric softener, and I will be mopping our floors with homemade cleanser.

Also, I want you to survive the Zombie Apocalypse as well! So recipes/instructions/tips for all three of those things are below.

Disclaimer: this may not, in fact, help you during any apocalypse. BUT your house and your wallet will thank you.

ON WITH THE SHOW!

Laundry Detergent!

  • 1 4lb Borax
  • 1 4lb box Baking Soda
  • 1 3lb box Washing Soda
  • 3 bars soap (more to come)
  • OxyClean or some generic version (I found a giant tub)
  • Downy Unstoppables (optional)
  • Essential Oils (optional)

Note on the bars of soap: traditionally, you would use “laundry soap” like Fels-Naptha or Zote. I’ve seen both of these at your WalMarts or your grocery store in the laundry aisle. Now, I personally, like to use one bar of laundry soap and two bars of castille soap. For reasons that I use Dr. Bronner’s Lavender Castille Soap for Tony to bathe in and I like the way it smells. I’ve heard of even using body soap in this.

SO! Grate your cheese. Honestly, I use my food processor for this. (I wash it and it’s fine. I promise.) Then you take a big ole container (technical term) and dump all of the grated soap, washing soda, baking soda, borax, and OxyClean together. I use a paint bucket from Home Depot for this.

Now, if you’re a big scent person – we are – you can add a bottle of Downy Unstoppables to this mixture OR about 30 drops of essential oil. Mix well, either one you choose to add.

Be aware, this makes A LOT. We typically put it in large freezer bags (what didn’t fit in our glass jar) and just add to the jar as we run out.

We use the scoop that came with the OxyClean and add one or two scoops a load. This averages about $20 a big batch that will run you around three or four months, easy.

To answer some questions:

  • Yes, this is safe for HE machines. Add directly to the drum, not the dispenser.
  • Yes, it works well in cold water. We run about half our loads on cold and never had an issue.
  • Yes, we have VERY sensitive skin in our house and no one has reacted to this detergent.

Fabric Softener!

This is way less intense. Promise.

  • 6 C water
  • 3 C white vinegar
  • 2 C cheap conditioner

Heat the water in a big pot on your stove until ALMOST boiling. Turn off the heat and add the conditioner. (I use Suave in a scent a like, and it’s something ridiculous like $2 a bottle.) Mix until the conditioner is entirely dissolved. Add the vinegar. VOILA, YOU HAVE FABRIC SOFTENER.

To answer some questions:

  • I typically water down my store-bought fabric softener. You don’t have to dilute this at all.
  • My washer has a place on the agitator to add fabric softener to be automatically dispensed at the right time. If yours doesn’t, grab a Downy Ball at the store for $3. Same thing.
  • No, your laundry will not smell like vinegar. It might right out of the washer, but after drying, the scent is gone entirely.

FLOOR CLEANER!

  • 1 C white vinegar
  • 1 gallon water

Mix well. Mop. Let air dry.

To answer some questions:

  • I use this on my laminate and hardwood floors. Our hardwood is sealed but not waxed. I’ve been told that floors that are waxed do NOT take well to cleaning with vinegar. I suggest you do an inconspicuous patch test first.

Now. I’ve taught you how to keep your homestead clean during the apocalypse. Who’s gonna teach me how to shoot?

Comments { 11 }

When There Are No More Words

We’ve been talking. A lot. About everything, about nothing, trying to pretend we’re normal, trying to embrace the severity of the situation. I am talked out.

(Also, I love y’all so much there aren’t words for that anyway. Seriously, thanks for your kind words and thoughts and emails and hugs.)

BACK TO THE HUMOR.

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Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever .. blah blah blah.

There’s a lot of stuff I’m good at when it comes to parenting. It’s true. I kind of even like it.

I was nervous about being a mom to a boy, though, because .. well, I grew up with girls. I didn’t really know a lot about boys. Conveniently, boys are pretty awesome. And you kind of figure it out as you go.

One part I’m not good at: the theme song to “Spiderman”. (I did not realize this would be a requirement.)

This not only drives Bryan crazy (“Really? You can recite entire chunks of dialogue from The Dark Crystal but you can’t figure out the words to this song?!”), but Tony corrects me ALL THE TIMES. (Everything is plural to Tony.)

According to Tony, this is the theme song.

Spiderman, Spiderman
does whatever a spider can.
Spins a web, any size,
Catches cheese just and flies
LOOK OUT! (jazz hands)
Here comes Spiderman.

Is he strong?
Lick him, bud.
He’s got radio in his butt.
Can he swing? Probably.
Take a look. Probably.
Him herrreee .. Spiderman.

In a skill of night
In a skill of night
In a skill of night
JUST IN TIIIIIIME!

Spiderman, Spiderman
in your neighborhood
Spiderman
mdngst hang-UP
mdngsng hang-UP
THERE GOES SPIDERMAAAAAAAAN!

Yep, I did NOT know those words.

Comments { 11 }