We had a lovely Christmas, in spite of everything.

We kept saying that to eachother – “in spite of everything” – because it felt like this year kept TRYING to screw up our holiday. Like, fate was against us. From custody issues (AGAIN! SECOND YEAR IN A ROW!) to an emergency trip to an ER for a cat-scratch IN THE EYE, it seemed as if the holiday was doomed.

But the reality of it was that Christmas magic is as pervasive as the glitter from the cheap-ass wrapping paper I bought. Which is to say: everywhere and all-encompassing. Bryan detested that wrapping paper – and look, I hate wrapping period so no paper makes it MORE enjoyable – and it shed like a nervous cat and no tape stuck to it and it was just a bad choice on my part. But I’ll be damned if it didn’t look MAGNIFICENT under the tree.

Mysterious follow-up #1: custody issues are just always hard. Always. And really, ours only pop up over the holidays. Blessing and a curse. Either way, it was a hectic and short holiday with all of us together, but still. Magic was had.

Mysterious follow-up #2: child is okay and his eye is healing nicely. The cat .. well, if it were solely my choice, the cat would’ve been gone that day. It’s the second time in two days she’s scratched the hell out of him and drawn blood, but .. it’s not solely my choice is what I’m saying here. We’re looking into .. other options. But I’m not up for the hate mail associated with some of the options, so .. we’re handling it.

IN FAR MORE INTERESTING NEWS, BUT NOT REALLY: I literally have not had a bowel movement since the morning of the 24th. I’ve eaten about 2746 meals since then. I AM IN PAIN. I am bloated to the point that I hold my belly and waddle with second trimester skill. I have taken THREE Ex-Lax tonight, had EIGHT cups of coffee today, and have had 1/2 cup of salt water. NOTHING IS MOVING.

Y’all, I cannot call my doctor because I can’t poop. That’s just DEGRADING. And yet? I MUST POOP.

Also, we took Tony to eat at the Waffle House where Bryan and I shared a cup of coffee in December of 2004:

He wasn’t a fan at first (“GUYS, WE CANNOT EAT HERE.”), but I think he enjoyed himself. Bryan and I just looked around and giggled. Can’t believe it’s been seven years now.

Best present this year: Aunt Gee and Dude gifted us a night out. A great gift card to our local “premiere” movie theatre, a gift card to the gourmet restaurant in the shopping center outside of it, and an overnight babysitting gig. BEST PRESENT EVER AND I WANT TO REDEEM IT A MILLION TIMES.

I wish I had some sweeping summation of the holiday for this post, but the reality of it is this: we are all still covered in sparkly holiday glitter and we kind of like the glow.