Archive | December 12, 2011

The Virgin Diaries: Can We Discuss This?

By on December 12, 2011 in The Couch Potato

First and foremost: I did not watch this show. It premiered last week, I believe, and I only knew it existed because I do watch Sister Wives (so help me) and although I typically fast-forward through commercial breaks, sometimes I’m doing my nails and they’re too wet to bother pressing buttons.

That is how I happened upon this:

Nowwww.. look, y’all. I understand that I watch Sister Wives, and maybe that renders me unable to hold any credibility in a situation like this, but can I just honestly say WHAT IN THE HELL?

I can understand applying a Biblical or untouched nature to your hoohah. I can. But to make your first kiss ever .. the wedding kiss? No one has a nice wedding kiss. It’s ALWAYS awkward. Mostly because 200 people are looking at you. Also, you’re starving and half-drunk. (.. just me?) I’m just saying; I worked for a photographer for a couple of years, assisting in LOTS AND LOTS OF WEDDINGS and it’s typically at least a smidgen awful.

BUT THIS.

Oh, this.

I have a problem with fish. They’re pretty, from a distance, in a tank that is not in my home. But up close, the eyes and the gaping mouths and the soul-less gasping for breath/life is just NOT my bag. And this – this promo for a show – makes me so incredibly nauseous.

I can’t even hold respect for “saving the first kiss”. I find it LUDICROUS.

(yes, I am a close-minded blowhard.)

The best part of writing a blog is opening this up: who here watched it? Thoughts?

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Sniffle Snuffle Snort

By on December 12, 2011 in The Unexplainable

We are not a sick household, for the most part. I’d like to take some credit in that; we are big believers in vitamins and whole foods and we honestly try to get a moderate amount of exercise as a family.

BUT OH LAWD, WE ARE ALL SICK NOW.

Jack had a cold a couple of weeks ago, one that found its way – as it typically does – into his lungs and rooted itself in a deep, hoarse cough. Not quite croup-y, but .. um .. difficult to listen to without wanting to disinfect everything in sight.

We thought we avoided it, the rest of it, but last week Tony came home with a runny nose. And we were off to the races.

Hey, side note, did you know that Boogie Wipes are now available in a giant canister?

I know, part of you are saying What in the hell are boogie wipes?  and I know. It sounds gross. But I ADORE these, and to find them in a giant canister was like Christmas for us. These wipes contain saline (and are also available in a menthol scent, but I just now found that online), which helps keep nasal passages moist, which is one of our biggest obstacles. Tony gets nosebleeds if the wind is too strong, so these are a miracle for loosening that crust around their nostrils without stripping them.

(Also, IDEAL teacher gift.)

Bryan was drafting this weekend, creating sketches and drawings for a set he’s building soon, and his back just seized up. (Funny note: I accidentally wrote “sexed up”. He was bringing (a) sexy back.) Any movement he made hurt him and he popped four or five times just moving.

I just looked around at our house full of woe and misery and thought, “HAHA, SUCKERS!”

And then woke up this morning with my gum so swollen you can’t see some of my teeth. AH, KARMA, YOU FICKLE BITCH.

Coming up this week, hopefully, maybe: Stuff I’ve Bought Lately and Things I’ve Cooked from Pinterest.

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