I have nothing to write about today. Like, seriously. I’m digging here.
So I’ve decided to just talk about this weird thing I do – have ALWAYS done – where I give things feelings.
I blame, partially, The Velveteen Rabbit for instilling this trait in me, this fear that I am ALWAYS hurting something’s feelings. I remember finding this little eraser shaped like a poodle when I was in first grade – FIRST GRADE – and feeling devastated when someone actually used it as an eraser because OW! YOU’RE HURTING HIM AND HE IS CLEARLY A POODLE.
Teddy bears, stuffed animals, Barbie dolls, Cabbage Patch Kids, pictures, stupid trinkets, garbage. I attach feelings to them ALL. I’ve learned to numb it somewhat as I’ve aged, but I still feel a very real sentimental attachment to anything. ANYTHING. Clothes, books, movies, what have you.
I believe – all joking aside – that this is how hoarding starts.
I see it in Tony, too. He personifies everything, giving them names and feelings, and is conscientious of everything and how it may be impacted by his actions. Part of me is relieved by this – he has my empathy, which is a blessing as much as it is a curse – but the other part of me knows how much hurt he’ll shoulder with this tendency. You feel personally responsible for THINGS, things that you know logically have no feelings to hurt, and it can control you.
The only thing that is guaranteed to not enter this realm is food. All food is fair game, and food KNOWS that.
It wants to be eaten.
Okay, am I alone in this weird, weird habit? ”Yes” is an okay answer, but it’d be REALLY COOL if someone else knew what in the hell I’m talking about.