Archive | June, 2011

Let’s Talk About Television. (..again.)

I am sure there is something WORTHY of my finger clicks here, but damn if I can remember what it might be.

I am slightly obsessed with LouieLouie is a series on FX that features comedian Louis C.K.  If you’re unfamiliar with him as a comedian, quit reading this post and go get some of his stuff.  He’s hysterical.  He’s hysterical in a way that any parent can immediately relate to him.  His show is no different.  Within the first two minutes, his daughter has wished she was at Mommy’s place, “because I love her more”, and Louie responds by OBVSLY shooting her the bird the minute her pretty little head is turned.  It’s just that, you know, the reality of parenting and getting older and just SHIT.  He makes me guffaw in each episode, all the time being that everyman who inspires and also rips out your soul.

I hear Javier Colon won The Voice.  Shit, SPOILER ALER — damnit.  I stopped caring about The Voice when we kept featuring Christina Aguilera. Seriously, the “coaches” performed live every week to kick off the show, and all it did was question the validity of the Grammy system.  I like them all separately, but together?  No thank you.  Also, I would eat Adam Levine with a spoon, but only if he never talked.  Blake Shelton CRACKED MY SHIT UP.  And Christina just annoyed the fire out of me.  Here.  This.

Look.  FAR BE IT FROM ME to tell a woman that she is EVER too large to wear something.  I’ve been having all sorts of ego fall-out this week after an audition smacked me over the head with reality, but HONEY.  THAT IS NOT ATTRACTIVE.  You look like Dame Edna had a love child with Bruce Vilanche.  Also, this:

I actually own this outfit. (I do not.)

But even all of this is excusable if she weren’t so damn self-serving.  Her big duet with her final contestant?  WAS HER OWN SONG.  WHICH SHE TOOK EVERY OPPORTUNITY TO RUIN.  WHILE RECEIVING ROYALTIES, Y’ALL.


That episode of Hoarders where the lady collected dolls and did surgery on them and actually used the terms “hospital”, “amputation”, and “donor” RELATED TO HER DOLLS – that episode scared me because we actually have FAMILY in that town.  I have no further commentary on this.

I miss Modern Family.  Here is why and it’s only one of my eighteen million favorite moments.

Also, I suck but I have not been watching SYTYCD lately.  I have tried and I get bored. I KNOW. I hate me too.

I was going to post a clip here from Parks & Rec featuring Ron Swanson but I couldn’t pick just one.  So instead, I give you the Ron Swanson Pyramid of Greatness.

May you do great things with it.

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Let’s Play Dream House.

I love my house.  Like, I LOVE my house.  Very much.  But there are a lot of times that we realize we have already outgrown the house.  You know, after three years.

I mean, we’re not looking to buy/move any time soon.  Mostly because 1) HOUSING MARKET and 2) I hate moving.  Like, hate it with a passion.  And we were fortunate enough to move while Tony was wee and it wasn’t a big deal to him.  I can’t imagine moving with a toddler. (Sidenote: is 3.5 even a toddler anymore? Or do we have another name?)

My sister just closed on her first house this week and while searching for her new house and shopping for Delle’s new house, I’ve been building my must-have list for the new hypothetical house.  That we’re not looking for.

1. It must have my current kitchen.

Now, that’s the listing picture for our kitchen, so it looks a little nicer and showier there than it does in our every day life.. but not by much.  Plainly put, I adore our kitchen.  It’s a HUGE kitchen, so much so that I’m shocked there’s not an island in there, but I love that the boys can play in the floor while I cook.  As often happens.  I love the layout, the colors, the counterspace .. and what you can’t plainly see in this pic is that to the right side in the foreground?  A WINE FRIDGE.  It’s not entirely stocked with wine – as I’m the only drinker in the house – but man.  I love, love, LOVE our kitchen.  I would be so sad to not have our kitchen anymore.

2. It must have our current master bedroom.

Again, this is the listing photo.  Lemme see if I have anything worth showing that has our actual bedroom set in there.

Okay, that’s not a great pic either, but the point is this: I am Italian.  So to me, the priorities in a house needs to be larger common rooms (kitchen/living room/family room) and bedrooms don’t need to be gigantic.  Having said that, our Master bedroom is CAVERNOUS and .. I kind of like it.  But more so than the size, it has a very comfortable vibe to it.  And some master bedrooms just don’t have that vibe.  I need a plush master bedroom.

3. It must have 3+ bedrooms.  I don’t care if the “+” bedroom is an actual bedroom or a bonus room or what have you, but I NEED MORE SPACE.  We need somewhere that can work as a home office and a spare room.  We have a sleeper sofa that would be just fine in another room. 

4. I would love a tub in the master bath.  A signature design of all the houses around my neighborhood is a full “hall” bath and then a 3/4 bath in the master suite.  I miss taking a bath.  And while, yes, I could bathe in the boys’ tub.. um, I choose not to.  Because I want to have a relaxing soak, not a toy-cleaning-session.

5. More closet space would be nice.  The master has two closets, but they’re two small closets.  I would love a walk-in closet.  That sounds lovely.  Oooh, or a “dressing area”?  SHUT THE FRONT DOOR.

6. Backyard is not that important.  A major factor in the house that we bought was that it has a majorly huge backyard.  Which .. basically means there’s more to mow.  We don’t really utilize the backyard. Which may make us a horrible family, but it’s reality.  We use the front yard ENTIRELY more than we use the backyard.

7. We must have a front porch. The Bitter House had the most AMAZING front porch, and it was actually kind of pivotal in mine and Bryan’s early dating relationship.  Since then, we’ve never had a front porch, and we’ve always lamented it.  We’re in the south.  We need a substantial landscape on which to drink sweet tea.

What are your MUST HAVES in your next home? (And you know you have some.) I might add them to my list!

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Stupid Blinking Cursor.

Strangely enough, I have nothing to say today.  It’s raining cats and dogs, I could fall asleep right now, and I just don’t have anything worthwhile to say.  I haven’t even watched any good tv.

I am, however, gushing all about this guy right here.  He’s woo-ed many hearts as John Adams this weekend in 1776.  He even made my momma cry.  TWICE.  I’m so insanely proud of him and I’m thrilled that I’m mentioned in his program notes. (After his ontsage wife, I might add .. slightly bitterly.)


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Posted Without Commentary

(Other than to say that these are pictures I’ve taken as either part of my Project365 or from Instagram.)

Best Father's Day Present EVER.

John Adams & Thomas Jefferson discuss the benefits of plaid cargo shorts.


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Some Stuff I’ve Bought: Malibu Pilates Edition

I mentioned some time ago that I bought a Malibu Pilates chair, and at the time I promised a review after I’d used it a bit longer.


So I bought the Pilates chair during some fit of insanity (I actually think it was during my Shingles-fever) after sitting through the hour-long infomercial not once, but twice.  It’s endorsed by Susan Lucci, whom I’ve always felt a kinship with.  You might ask why, so I’ll tell you: I have been nominated for our local theatre awards, like, twelve times.  I’ve NEVER WON.  Sure, it’s an honor just to be .. whatever, that’s crap and we all know it.  It’s an honor to be nomiated for a Nobel Peace Prize, but a local lucite trophy?  I WANT ONE OF THOSE.

(And sure, I can be like some who claim that they’ve won because they were part of a winning ensemble, and I’ve “won” that way a few times now, but it’s not the same.  I want a lucite trophy with my name laser-etched in it, damnit.)

Anyway, Susan Lucci actually HAS won a daytime Emmy now, so we don’t even have that in common anymore.  She’s one-upped me, that daytime bitch, so I had to buy this pilates chair and be better at it than her.

(I’m not, mind you.  Better than her at this chair thing.)

BUT – yes, I bought it.  I bought it for the 30 day free trial (or $15 30 day trial or whatever it was) and then I got back into proposal work and the 30 days came and went before I had even really set foot on it.  Which irritated me, so I finally decided to try it.

And I’ve used it twice daily ever since.

For serious.

It comes with a few workouts, and I did them once, to learn the moves and the basic recommended sequencing and whatnot, but I don’t really use the DVDs.  I typically climb on it for about 15 minutes in the morning, before anyone else is up, and I use it while I watch the morning news.  Then I use it for about 15 minutes before I go to bed, as I watch Real Housewives of Locale.  That’s it.  But I do this pretty religiously.

I won’t say that it’s been a magic machine and TA DA! I’m now a size 6, but I can see results.  Since I don’t do the full 50 minute workout (.. and honestly, I don’t know how anyone could hang in there for 50 minutes, cause DAMN), I don’t expect crazy fast results.  But I’m seeing results.  I’m more toned, and I can feel my muscles.  It’s weird; if I get my 15 minutes in the morning, I can feel my abs, thighs, hips working throughout the day.  That’s a nice feeling, actually.

I haven’t tried on any clothes that are a size smaller, because I couldn’t stand the heartache of them NOT fitting, but I can tell you that my clothes are definitely looser.  I’m kind of a fan, is what I’m saying.

Now – it’s not a cheap machine.  I’m on the payment plan and the monthly payment is basically a month at a gym.  But I can easily justify it when I use it daily.  It’s been a great way for me to slip in some targeted exercise, and I really do love it.  Someone asked about the size of the machine as well.  It does fold up for storage, but honestly, it’s such a cumbersome thing to fold up and that I don’t.  Ever. 

Here's it folded.

I leave it out, ready to use, in an empty corner of our living room.  (It is about the size of an office chair when unfolded.)  The springs are easy to maneuver to change the resistance, and the chair is very sturdy.  I have an .. issue .. with gravity and I don’t mind doing lifts on the chair.

I should also clarify that I bought the set-up that is pictured above.  You can get fancy sidebar/handle thingies that I did not get because .. well, I didn’t know I could, but it’s alright.  I don’t really miss them.  My arms get PLENTY of workout with what’s pictured there.

So – let’s sum up, shall we?  I’m not sure that it’s worth the overall price of what I paid for it, but if you can score it on Amazon (and I’ve found it there at times for about a hundred dollars cheaper there than what I paid), it’s something worth having around your home.  It’s easy, and you don’t have to be a pilates expert to get results from the machine.  It’s fun, actually.  You kind of feel like a circus performer. (… whatever.)

Although I wish I was, because my husband would be less cranky about the whole thing, I am not being sponsored or paid for this post.  These are my own opinions and there has been no compensation whatsoever.  Although, perhaps, there should be.  You hear me, Susan Lucci?!

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