Life with boys is something that I 1) never knew I’d love and 2) am constantly surprised by.
For instance, did you know that bodily emissions of a gaseous state are ALWAYS funny? Doesn’t matter your age. One of the boys (who shall remain nameless because he IS SO GUILTY) had what we refer to as the Antibiotic Tummy this week, and the same night decided to try pepperocinis (despite my MULTIPLE suggestions that he not because these in particular were very hot), and MAN OH MAN, the emissions. My husband, who is rapidly approaching forty years old, giggled and tittered like a schoolgirl ALL NIGHT. ALL FREAKING NIGHT. Of course, it was like walking into a brick wall with the stench, so laughing was a preferred reaction instead of, say, gagging and holding one’s throat as they passed out.
Also, bodily functions are also cool. We are happily over the potty-training hurdle, including the dreaded #2 (which, why is that such a thing? Can I just say that #2 is the ONLY ALONE TIME I get during the day and I cherish it? Live it up, kid!). #2, which some lovely nymph at his school has referred to as “chocolate poo-poo” and now we are graced with THAT label at least once a day, is now like cloud-watching to my son. “Momma, it’s a castle!” and “Momma, it’s a rocket ship!” and “Momma, that one was REALLY LOUD!”. Why spend money on toys? WE HAVE THIS ENTERTAINMENT IN OUR OWN BATHROOMS!
People falling are ALWAYS hysterical. (.. I can’t really argue with this logic.) The two older boys are, obviously, longtime fans of any images of people dramatically falling, but now the three year old continuously requests Splash in the Water, which many of you know as ABC’s Wipeout. Oddly enough, Jack called a similar show Jump in the Water when he was the same age. They will all happily sit in front of the same damn episode for HOURS at a time. Also, Tony is consistently trying to perfect his pratfalls. HE IS THREE AND IS WORKING ON HIS STAGE FALLS. I just have to imagine girls don’t do this.
Don’t even get me started on bed-head. I thought girls had it rough. Inevitably, both of the boys will roll out of bed in the morning looking like they lost a battle with a weedwacker.
And although danger lurks in every corner when you have all boys — there is dirt and mud and worms and gas and boogers and a myriad of things to be terrified of — it’s worth every minute.