Archive | November, 2010

Some Stuff I’ve Bought Lately

I haven’t done one of these in awhile, and it’s mostly because it’s been BALLS TO THE WALL crazy in my space.   But here’s some stuff I’ve bought lately (or at least in the last six months and have been meaning to tell you about):

The Conair Infiniti Hair Drying System of Doom.  I added the last part, but to be fair, you could bludgeon someone to death with this thing.  Which, at first, I was all, Man, this is REALLY heavy but then I realized that hey! bludgeoning!  And, actually, it does a KILLER (ha!) job of blow drying my hair.  It gets PLUH-ENTY hot, and it gets even my mop of hair dry and straight in under ten minutes, hand to Jeebus.

The Madden Girl Sheldun Boot.  I’m always amazed when people don’t know the Madden Girl line.  It’s a great, affordable line that is basically a less-expensive version of the coveted Steve Madden line.  I own SEVERAL pair of Madden Girl shoes and people ALWAYS compliment me on them.  Most of those shoes have lasted me for several years, so don’t let the small prices decieve you.  This autumn/winter, I’ve been living in this boot in black and the Punkk Slouch boot in brown (which I can’t find online anymore).  LOVE THEM.

Head Slick by HeadBlade.  I don’t know if I’ve talked about this before, but literally every time I use it, I think, I need to share the love of this stuff!  I have too problems when it comes to shaving: sensitive skin and/but very thick hair.  This stuff, which I initially picked up as a stocking stuffer for Bryan last Christmas, is AMAZING.  Very slick, but silicone based so your blade doesn’t dull as quickly.  A little bit truly goes a long way .. this is what I use for all my shaving, and my husband uses it for his head, and we still make a bottle last for months.  LOVE IT.

Lungs, by Florence and the Machine.  I had heard of the group for awhile, but.. and, look, I’m not proud to admit this, but.. I could only be convinced to download it when 1) I realized she was a redhead after her appearance on SNL and 2) the Glee kids did a cover of “Dog Days are Over”.  And now?  I’M IN LOVE.  Girl got vocals and a lot of savvy and angst to back them up.  Also, “Dog Days are Over” is my new mantra.  LOVE IT.

The Bounce Dryer Bar.  I am that sad, sad person who finds true joy in lessening the duty of laundry.  I HATE LAUNDRY.  What’s better/worse is that my husband LOVES laundry.  I shit you not: every weekend, he does AT LEAST four loads of laundry.  Usually five or six.  This used to equate to THOUSANDS OF USED DRYER SHEETS INVADING MY FLOORS.  It was something of an OCD girl’s nightmare.  This?  Eases my anxiety just a little.

Lastly, a game of Nerts.  Apparently, a big thing at Bible Camp of Homeschoolers is a game called Nerts, and my husband L-O-V-E-S it.  He’s convinced that he and his sister actually invented it.  So I (reluctantly) allowed him to teach me on Sunday night.

Before you make your own assumptions, let me just confess that my husband is one of the most competitive people you’ve ever met.  Like, I won’t play video games if he’s playing.  And it’s not that he’s mean in his competitive nature, but he’s A SORE, SORE LOSER.  If he’s losing, it’s obviously the 1) controller’s fault 2) rotation of the earth is off or 3) JACK, WHY DID YOU DO THAT?  So the idea of playing a card game with him made me take pause.

But he taught me.  He was very kind and moved slowly for me and forgave me when I had to call TIMEOUT to straighten my card piles because there weren’t straight, and most importantly.. it was quiet time for us to focus on eachother that didn’t involve an episode of The Real Housewives of (Insert Locale Here) playing in the background.

(I kind of want to play again.)

So.. this is MY favorite part: what have you bought lately?

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Let’s Just Call this Leftovers.

  • The CHRISTMASSSSSS! joy continued for the rest of the holiday.  My grandmother left us some lighted, animatronic reindeer that Bryan installed right outside of Tony’s window.  We went ahead and informed Tony that he was not a “moose”, he was in fact a reindeer, and as I was putting Tony to bed, he literally sat at the window, staring intently for almost ten minutes.  Finally he looked at me, put crossed his hands in front of him on his puppy belly, and whispered, “He is so beeyooful.”
  • I might have cried.
  • Um, high-five, AMC.  I never thought a movie about the zombie apocalypse would make me cry once a week.  And seriously consider my course of action in the event of said apocalypse.
  • Every Saturday or Sunday, we go have breakfast at a little diner down the street from us.  The boys LOVE this ritual, and I love that we have a ritual.  This week, the owner was in and officially deemed us “regulars”.  This made me far happier than it probably should’ve.
  • Tony officially turns three a week from tomorrow.  I’m trying not to think about it.  On one hand, he’s SO GROWN UP!  He’s given up the pacifier, he picks up his own room, he’s eating the same meal as us at dinner now.  On the other hand.. we have yet to conquer (or even chip away at) the potty training. FAIL.
  • Our Christmas cards are in, stuffed, and ready to be addressed.  I feel like I have WON THE HOLIDAY.
  • There are times that being a stepmom is SO AMAZINGLY difficult.  And those times are, surprisingly, when I want to do something to help but know that it’s not my place.
  • Y’all, RHoAtl is INSANE.  Phaedra deserves her own messed-up post, because she is a TRAINWRECK like none I’ve ever witnessed on any of the Real Housewives.  And that’s saying something.
  • I had a migraine like no other last night around midnight that had me up until 2:30.  During which time, I craved protein so badly I could literally taste filet mignon.  I don’t even like steak.  So I may have had the rest of our Thanksgiving turkey, in the hopes that it would ease the protein craving AND set some tryptophan into motion.
  • I woke up feeling like I had sucked on a salt-lick in my sleep.
  • I love Kanye West.
  • The End.
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I thought I’d made a mistake when we took Tony to our local promenade — a fancy-pants outdoor array of fine shopping known as Bridge Street here in town — to see the Christmas tree lighting.  It’s, I suppose, our official tree of the city, and the lighting is an event every year.

Well, he was underwhelmed by the tree, but WOOED by the carousel, large bridge, and rickshaws.

So when I told him on Black Friday that we were going to procure a Christmas tree, he was ELATED.  I mean, SUPER STOKED WITH WIDE EYES AND SUDDEN SPURTS OF COOPERATION!  Then he mentioned the horses.  “Ride the horses, too, Momma?  At the bridge Christmas tree?”  Well, shit.

No, honey, actually we’re going to fight the madness that is Target on Black Friday to get an artificial Christmas tree.  Because I live to ruin your dreams.

Understandably, he was not as excited about that prospect.

We’re working our way through giving up the pacifier over here, and although he’s gone cold turkey since last Sunday, we’ve had only minimal success in making bedtime anything less than suicide-worthy.  But I somehow subdued him into a nap of three (THREE!) hours by promising him a view of a Christmas tree when he woke up.  I didn’t say WHERE, exactly.. he may have mentioned the horses, and I didn’t deny it, but SHOVE IT IN YOUR EARHOLE, DO YOU REALIZE HE’S BEEN CRYING FOR TWO HOURS EVERY NIGHT AT BEDTIME?!  He finally fell asleep and Bryan and I went to work.

Bryan popped some Pandora on the iPad and we quickly got our house ready for the season.  I was amazed at our efficiency, but in reality, we’ve outgrown our house.  There’s little room to decorate now, and it’s laughable to think that this is literally the biggest house we’ve all lived in.  Regardless, the tree was up and decorated, and the Iron Bowl began.

Which means that we did not wake the baby.

He rustled awake about halftime, and wandered around the corner.


The wide eyes, the amazement, the pure, pure joy.. THAT is why.

And as we braved the mall for dinner .. the Santa there was decked out in houndstooth but Tony would have none of it .. everything was gasp-inducing.  “Momma! ::gasp:: Christmas is here too!!  CHRISTMASSSSSS!!!”  Lights were Christmas.  Music was Christmas.  And that was my favorite part.  There was no singular part of Christmas to him; it was all-encompassing, all around us.  Christmas was here.

We took a detour on the way home to drive through a street that is locally known for it’s massive Christmas decorations.  Tony went absolutely APESHIT.  “CHRISTMAS COWS, MOMMA!  CHRISTMAS COOWWWWSS!”  And it was one of those times that we couldn’t correct him (reindeer) because we kind of hoped it would last forever, those Christmas Cows.

I hope everyone had a holiday weekend as filled with wonder and bovine.

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Love Letter to my Husband

My husband is so incredibly amazing to me and I don’t tell him often enough.  Truth is, I’m kind of .. well, I’m kind of a guy when it comes to emotion and affection, and so I know that he doesn’t hear the “I love you” often enough, he doesn’t get the random kiss often enough, and in general, I suck at being a good wife there.

Mea culpa.

But he is pretty amazing.  He went out of town this week and went so far as to make sure all of the garbages were emptied and taken to the curb so that I wouldn’t have to in his absence.  It’s not anything that I mind doing,  but knowing I don’t have to?  DUDE, I FELL IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN.

He routinely makes things happen so I don’t have to.  And that, I believe, is my “love language”.  Oh, y’all, I hesitate to even bring up that crap because UGH, SO SELF-HELPEY, but it really is true.  Nothing makes me feel loved like being taken care of.  Because I’ll NEVER, EVER ask for it, but my GOD, I so need it.  I need to put in my ten hours at work and then not feel like I’m starting a second shift when I get home.  He’s pretty freaking great about that.

He also cares enough to help me create our Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness Plan, which is updated weekly at 9:00 p.m. CST like clockwork. (Anyone else hooked on AMC’s The Walking Dead?!)  I think that’s pretty crucial.  Plus, I made him promise to shoot me in the head if (AND ONLY IF) I become a zombie, and I really think he’ll abide by it.  Because he loves me.

He’s a great dad, too.  Even when Tony has admitted “I wub you!” to EVERYONE IN THE WORLD EXCEPT ME INCLUDING A DIRECT TV SALESMAN, Bryan will try and coax it out of him.  “Don’t you love Momma?  Shouldn’t you tell Momma you love her?” (HE STILL NEVER HAS.)

He’s totally okay that Tony’s favorite color is pink and that Jack wants to ride ATVs.  Both of these things make my eye twitch out of fear.

He’s very patient with me when I see shiny things like Christmas lights.

He knows and understands that I have very, very strong Momma Bear instincts when it comes to the kids, and often makes mitigations to lessen my rage.

He has considered eating healthier.  Not exactly taken to it, but considered it.  Because he knows it’s important to me.

I’m very fortunate to have found him and hung on to him.  He makes me a very lucky woman.

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The Discussion I Don’t Want to Have Out Loud.

“When are you going to make Tony a big brother?”

Y’all.  I hate this topic SO HARD right now.  There’s not even words.

Bryan and I haven’t even talked about it.  We were all light-hearted and happy about it in October, as things were looking up and like we might finally be reaching a point where life was going to perk up.  And don’t me wrong – it has.

But.  A big ole but.  I just don’t have time.

And that’s a shitty answer.  I know this.  But working 10+ hours a day, 6 days a week has left me feeling like a really shitty, absent mother most of the time, and I couldn’t IMAGINE fitting an infant into it.  And maternity leave?  What a joke.  On the one hand, I couldn’t imagine being gone for that amount of time.  On the other hand, I’d prefer to take MORE time off this next go around.

So.. the last week, I’ve spent a concerted amount of effort on preparing myself for the idea that Tony will forever be our baby.  He will be the youngest.  And I’m trying to see the blessings there: we’ll be sleeping in soon, soon diapers will be a thing of the past, there is an end in sight to kid’s tv taking up the main television.  Just last night, Tony helped me gather his pacifiers (he’s always called them Byes) for the Bye Fairy to come “and give to the little babies.  I not a a baby anymore,” he said.  “I a Tony.”  And with that comes this debilitating ache, the one that Swistle so masterfully covered this weekend, the one that I’m all too familiar with.  That our family is not yet complete.

But it’s where we are.  Another baby would mean so much financially: we’d have to upgrade everything from our living quarters to our vehicles, and we’re just not there yet.  I feel like I’ve missed my turn on this next cycle; all of my friends have little babies again (or are due shortly) and I’ve just sat idly by, only wishing and longing for the time to be right.

I’m just not sure it’s going to be right for us, ever.

And I’m trying very hard to be okay with that.

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