I am a cryer.

I used not to be.  In fact, I could count on one hand the things that made me cry: Pixar, animals, and third-world poverty.  That was it.  Nothing else even MOVED me.

Then I had a baby.

Suddenly, I am a CRYER OF ALL THINGS.  Like, seriously.  It’s ridiculous.

This morning, I was treating myself to a Starbucks run (although it was the cheapest coffee trick in the world: order a misto instead of a latte and save yourself $$ AND calories).  I ordered at the speaker, and while waiting to get to the window for pick-up, an On-Star commercial came on.  A woman called On-Star because her son was having a seizure.

“Baby, look at ME,” the mother coaxed.  “LOOK AT MOMMA,” the mother begged.

“Ma’am, just let your son seize,” coached the On-Star rep.  “Turn him on his side if he starts coughing.”

And I?  Made it to the window a blubbering mess.  Sobbing.  The poor window attendant didn’t know what to say.  “On-Star,” I sobbed.  “Her son was seizing.”  The Starbucks lady just nodded and handed me my drink.

“Have a nice day,” she said, cautiously.

****

I took Tony to the park last weekend.

It should be noted that I have a firm agreement with gravity that strictly prohibits any of the following: carousels, skates of any kind, roller coasters, and slides.  Yes, slides.  I wouldn’t get on one until I was, like, eleven and even then I had a mental breakdown at the top.  I was a worrier.

This, however, was my child.  Nothing could stop him.  It’s hard to let go of my issues and let my child roam without The Fear.  But I know it’s the right thing to do.

****

Last night, we took the boys to a Chick-Fil-A with an indoor play area. We had a great tease of spring this weekend, with highs almost in the 70s, but now we’re suffering back through snow flurries. Which a child who is now “SIDE” obsessed doesn’t understand. “SIDE?” he asks all the time now. “PARK?!”

We hadn’t anticipated being the one of a hundred families with this same idea, and the HUGE, three-story play area was FILLED with crazed children.

Jack, being the amazing big brother he is, calmly held Tony’s hand. He lifted Tony through I don’t know how many tubes and steps that Tony is just not big enough to tackle on his own yet. He coaxed him into the higher levels, encouraging Tony to look down and wave to us from whatever monstrous height they were at. The slide proved to be too much for Tony to take on, so Jack patiently got him all the way back down, never losing patience or getting frustrated that he wasn’t free to play.

I wasn’t a cryer before.

But I’m always amazed at what causes my heart to overflow now.

I haven’t done one of these in awhile.  Mostly because I’ve been trying not to buy things.  But I have, nonetheless, ended up purchasing some stuff.  And Bryan asked me about them the other day, so maybe I should report out.

I owe it to you, my lovely readers.

I have been coveting these shoes for a LOOOOOONG time.  Then, when the doctor blessed me with a cancer-free boob, I was walking through the mall (I was actually buying a dress for a ball that we ended up not attending), and I passed by a Hibbetts.  I have actually TRIED to find these shoes in stores for awhile, but they either didn’t have the color palette I wanted (the pictured white/pink combo is the least ugly to me), or they didn’t have my size, or they were charging $150 for them.

Lo and behold, they had them in white/pink.  And in my size.  And they were on sale for $90.  THE STARS ALIGNED.

So I bought them.  I’ve had them for about three weeks now, and I wear them almost every day.  Even with dress pants.

Have I seen a change in my ass/thighs/hips?  No.  Not really.  BUT, and I say this is complete and total honest, it has helped my posture tenfold.  I’ve never really had an issue with posture, per se, but I tend to walk incorrectly.  I feel this in my hips ALL THE TIME.  This has taken away all of my pain in my hips entirely.  They pop less often, they’re not sore at the end of the day, blah blah blah.  So while they’re not magic diet pills, I have seen a positive impact from them.

I bought this Merona shirtdress to use mostly as my Derby Announcer persona, Lucille Maul, but honestly?  It’s so freakin’ cute that I may have to wear it elsewhere.  Everyone wanted to know where I got it and when I told them Target for less than $40, they all went nuts.  Understandably.  Mucho cute.

Probably the most amazing was that we spent A BUTTLOAD OF MONEY ON ANIMALS.  Granted, all of our animals are rescues, so they were all free, but we got them shot up and fixed this last month.  While Beau, the puppy in the first picture, didn’t change much from his already perky self, Lola (the cat in the second pic) has transformed from a generally bitchy animal to a loving, affectionate cat who is ON ME ALL THE TIME.  The cat who liked no one is now solidly in my camp, sleeping on my feet at night and warming my lap while I type.  Right this second, as a matter of fact.  I never thought having an animal fixed would so dramatically alter their personality, but this cat?  This cat, I love.

So.  Until I go clothes shopping for my new job, that’s all I have to show you.

What’s your wallet been up to?

“You’re in the wrong line of business – move on girl! You need to use your REAL gifts and talents and act, sing, etc. I’m totally serious. Get out there and go for it and go all the way with it. I wish I had a sharp and quick sense of humor as well as the ability to act and perform. One day you may look back and think, why didn’t I do more of..?”

A typical email from a coworker.

In early March, I’m making a move to be the Sarah I want to be.

This is both terrifying and completely enthralling.

My company has been good to me through the years, providing me endless skill sets and tons of friends and great experiences and all that jazz, but with layoffs looming and budget cuts aiming for our main arteries, an opportunity presented itself that was, in essence, what I’ve always wanted to explore.

And even more, I’m already pretty good at this field.  And I know how to expand it.

And I’m psyched.

And I’m terrified.

But for now?

I’m psyched.

Life’s too short, and the chances are too few.