So, I firmly believe that when you tell God something, not only does He, like, SERIOUSLY take you up on it, but He’s also gonna throw a few challenges your way to challenge you. Like, when I gave up chocolate for Lent a few years ago, I made a red velvet cake because I thought “Red + Velvet = No Mention of Chocolate = Okay to Eat” except that Bryan, killjoy that he is and reader of the Good Book, was all like No, it’s got chocolate in it, moron, so you can’t eat it, and here give it to me so I can banish this temptation for you.
Or when Delle and I gave up carbs for Lent one year, and we went to work Krewe Ball and Miss Jo gave us The Poundcake to bring back to the crew, and it was all warm and soft and SMELLY and we got it into the car, and we made it to the end of the block before we literally dove into it with our hands, shoveling it into our mouth fist after fist, as if it was our Last Supper.
So I have both succeeded and failed at Lent, but even my failures were minor losses of a battle and not the war. And even my successes were hard-won and challenge-heavy.
This year, I gave up cursing for Lent, which, in all honesty, is one of the harder sacrifices I’ve had to make. Not because I so relish those words, but because, sadly, they so freely flowed from my lips that I hardly took pause to use them. Now? I have to think every.single.phrase through before it leaves my mouth, and while this is a good thing that I’m sure regular people do.. not so much for me. With the verbal diarrhea.
My challenge this go-round has been TRE-MEN-DOUS, like, seriously, gawd. And while I have my Twitter friend Anthony be my cursing translator for me when we can fit it into 140 characters, I still have need to go on rants that are of massive proportions. Um, this week especially. OMFG, THIS WEEK.
So I’ve been trying to figure out why I so relish the curse words. I know I’m a language freak, so dur, but also, I think it’s that there’s a creativity required in choosing just the right word for it. It’s a finesse. And then, you get the right reaction dependent on picking this one word — which already has a built-in shock value — and throwing it into your line of thought. So it’s the creativity involved. Hmm.
Which is where you come in!
Please copy and paste your contributions into your comment and fill it out as you go. Tomorrow, I’ll insert your contributions into my newly scrubbed rant (NOW WITH NON-EXPLETIVES!), and we can all have a good laugh.
Cause I so totally fu .. dging need one.
1. verb
2. verb
3. verb
4. verb
5. noun
6. noun
7. noun
8. verb
9. noun
10. verb
11. noun
12. verb
13. noun
14. noun
15. verb
16. noun
17. noun
Remember, I don’t need curse words in here. I need creative ones! Peek back tomorrow to see the end results!
