Archive | October 28, 2008

The One Where Sarah’s a Freak (#967)

By on October 28, 2008 in The Unexplainable

I was reading True Mom Confessions the other day and one was submitted about always making sure that the stuffed animals were comfortable when she made her kids’ beds every day.  And I TOTALLY FELT HER ON THAT ONE.

I have a .. slight .. issue.  I believe that all things have a soul.

I KNOW.  I know it sounds crazy.  Mock me if you must.  But seriously.. this is a big problem with me.  I have been this way as long as I can remember, back to when I would take turns having favorite stuffed animals because I didn’t want any of them to feel slighted.  Back to when, in first grade, a friend let me borrow a poodle-shaped eraser and I treated it like a minature dog for a week, until my mother made me give it back.  Back to when, in third grade, I was obsessed with a McDonalds give-away Christmas Fozzie Bear and would not go anywhere without him.  If you want to give me a guilt trip, hold up a stuffed animal and make him talk.  Seriously, Bryan did this last night with a Curious George plush and I thought I was going to come-apart.  Of course, then Bryan did his BiCurious George take and sullied the good name of all monkeys everywhere.

I get upset if you throw DOMO.  He has feelings, you know.

The big bear that Keboobalah bought on the day of Binja’s birth?  I feel the need to play with him, since he sits there, just watching that kid play with toys that just DON’T APPRECIATE IT.

I blame two things:

  • The Velveteen Rabbit - I cannot read this without sobbing.  I have a first edition of this book .. somewhere, anyway .. and it still haunts me to this day.
  • When I was four, I was in preschool and we were playing with play-doh.  I punched mine, and the teacher admonished me with, “Don’t hurt the play-dohs feelings, Sarah.”  OH, SHIT, I thought. I NEVER REALIZED.

I worry about passing this INCREDIBLY STUPID and yet ENTIRELY CONTROLLING affliction on to my son, but at the same time.. on the off-chance that his toys came to life at night, wouldn’t you want YOUR kid to be on their good side?

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Sunday Clothes

By on October 28, 2008 in The Blushing Bride, The Diva

First of all, thanks so much for the GREAT ideas on the last post, where I admitted that I had lost all hope of my family ever being happy with the same dish.  I don’t know why I hadn’t considered the “get the kid involved” thing.. DUR.. because he and I used to make pizzas a lot.  And he ate them.  Happily.  Ditto with tacos.  So I’ve got some fresh ammo for the coming weekend.

Fall is upon us.  Well, rather, winter is.  After a weekend of 70 degree temps, we woke up yesterday morning to temps in the low 40s.  Which, in Alabama, is as cold as we comfortably get.  Anything colder than that is cause for ice trucks, school closings, and the rush on the grocery stores for BREAD and MILK.  And TOILET PAPER. 

Binja was ready.  Unfortunately, he had a bit of a growth spurt.

Not so Itty-Bitty Binja

Notice how the neckline of the jacket hits his cheekbone?  That’s a 12 Month jacket.  My child is not yet eleven months.  He is a bit large.  We fear his wrath.

ARGH BINJA MAD BINJA SMASH.

My mother also bought him a PRECIOUS Sesame Street outfit from Costco, also 12 months.  We cannot get the sweatshirt over his head.  Ginormous, that one.  Quite the mellon.

He gets that from his daddy, obviously.  I have a pea head.  Ra said so.

It’s funny how the size of my child seems to vary throughout the day.  Any parent can agree with me on this one.  He’s big when he gets up, and gets immeasurably heavy around five or six at night, but right about his last bottle, when he cuddles under my chin, he gets feather-light.  I could hold him forever at night.

You wanna know what the funniest thing is EVER?  How happy and confident some new clothes have made me feel.  I was incredibly naive and SWORE I’d be back in my prematernity wardrobe by the winter, but I was too small to wear what I bought last year when I returned to work post-partem, so when the chilly weather hit, I was up shit creek.  In a sundress.  Sundresses and sandals do not serve me well in 44 degree mornings, especially when I work for the gubment who does not fully support heat. (Vote Obama!  He loves heat!)

(That’s the closest thing you’ll find to politics on here, by the way.)

So I begged Bryan to PUHLEEZE let me go spend some money on clothes.  I’m sure he was all “SHE’S GOT SO MANY CLOTHES THAT SHE CAN’T PUT THEM ALL AWAY AT ANY GIVEN TIME” and he’d be right, but instead he said, “Sure, honey.  Do what you gotta do.”

Which is why he went to Decatur that night.

Anyways, I ran over to Kohl’s and picked up a few things.  Seriously.. A pair of pants and two sweaters. (And a Curious George for Binja.) And the next day, I wore the new pants and new sweater to work and?  And?  I felt like a million bucks.  I felt like the old Sarah.  Not the old, nasty, saggy post-partem Sarah I’ve felt like for ten months, but the happy, confident, go-get-’em Sarah from 2005.

Sounds silly, I know.  But seriously.  It’s a fact.  It’s indisputable.

The bad news is that I only bought two sweaters and it’s been cold for more than two days.  So I’ve bookmarked what clothes I need to get for my next trip (i.e. two more pants and three more sweaters), so maybe I can get back to looking a bit more polished at work and less like a hobo.

And a Sarah that feels good at work?  Definitely continues feeling that good at home.

(Honey, you hear that?  More clothes = more trips to Decatur.)

(I kid. A little.)

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