I am back at work today. Which, you know, is good in a “This sure will help the paycheck!” kind of way, but bad in the way that I enjoy my sanity, and my mood definitely takes a sour turn when I know that work is eminent. And it’s not just my mood; even my subconscience goes nuts, with me dreaming about work and literal putting-out-of-fires and crap. I don’t sleep well.
I have tried and tried and TRIED to just come to peace with what I have here, because I’m sure it’s really not so bad. But it just feels so bad and I can’t make it feel any better, no matter how much brain power I put into the rationalization. Most of it, if not all of it, has to do with the fact that I am wired for communication, organization, and perfection. And this job? Allows me none of it. I am very much Lucy at the conveyor belt, trying to place the cherries just so, and only being successful a third of the time.
I have been with this company since I started my professional career, and I can’t say that about many people my age. Everyone I know has skipped around, being lured by better pay or greater opportunities, but I’ve felt a loyalty to this company that I have always worked for, the company my father works for. I feel a sort of legacy here, a history, that I’m not quick to let go of. But this? THIS FREAKIN’ SUCKS.
In other news, I leave you with this INCREDIBLY CUTE SHOT OF MY CHILD. AND HIS MOTHER.
Trying on Halloween costumes in Costco. This one looked oddly familiar..