Argh.

I am back at work today.  Which, you know, is good in a “This sure will help the paycheck!” kind of way, but bad in the way that I enjoy my sanity, and my mood definitely takes a sour turn when I know that work is eminent.  And it’s not just my mood; even my subconscience goes nuts, with me dreaming about work and literal putting-out-of-fires and crap.  I don’t sleep well.

I have tried and tried and TRIED to just come to peace with what I have here, because I’m sure it’s really not so bad.  But it just feels so bad and I can’t make it feel any better, no matter how much brain power I put into the rationalization.  Most of it, if not all of it, has to do with the fact that I am wired for communication, organization, and perfection.  And this job?  Allows me none of it.  I am very much Lucy at the conveyor belt, trying to place the cherries just so, and only being successful a third of the time.

I have been with this company since I started my professional career, and I can’t say that about many people my age.  Everyone I know has skipped around, being lured by better pay or greater opportunities, but I’ve felt a loyalty to this company that I have always worked for, the company my father works for.  I feel a sort of legacy here, a history, that I’m not quick to let go of.  But this?  THIS FREAKIN’ SUCKS.

In other news, I leave you with this INCREDIBLY CUTE SHOT OF MY CHILD.  AND HIS MOTHER.

Trying on Halloween costumes in Costco.  This one looked oddly familiar..