Y’all, I just have to share this with you. Because that’s the kind of friend I am. Yes, I am also the kind of friend who would win the lottery and call you personally and go, “GUESS WHO’S RICH, BIATCH?! I AM!! MEEEE MEEE MEEE!! Okay, bye.”
I have successfully dropped thirteen pounds since we started that biggest loser contest. Seriously. Thirteen.
And you know what my secret was? Because, dayum, I didn’t see it coming AT ALL.
Let’s just recap. I spent the first two weeks slaving away at the gym, literally attending three cardio classes a week and getting in an hour of strength training on Saturdays. I watched every little thing I put into my mouth and I obsessed over food and I was hungry.
Then I stopped caring. (I bought a house, moved, changed jobs, and was generally TOO BUSY.)
Then I went to New Orleans.
Now I’m doing a show and am balls-to-the-wall busy with work.
Those first two weeks that I did everything right? I lost, like, four pounds. That was it. And then I hovered. The Wii Fit would taunt me.. “What do you think is the reason you’re not losing weight?” or the even more humiliating “What do you think is the reason you’ve gained weight?”. (And yes, you had to choose an answer. And you couldn’t put in the desired answer: “Shut up, damn machine. It’s just baby fat. My husband says I’m hot.”)
But lately? What I’ve been doing? Seriously? Eating breakfast.
I KNOW. SHUT UP, RIGHT?
And not even, like, a granola-y breakfast.. something luxurious and FATTY. (Well, okay, not really fatty. But the authors of Skinny Bitch would have me drawn and quartered for saying that I lost weight doing this.) My daily breakfast has been a 1/2 cup of fresh berries (usually blueberries and raspberries, because my bowels HATE blackberries) covered with one or two tablespoons of Pioneer Woman’s Yogurt Cream.
It feels so sinful, so luxurious, and so FILLING.. I’m usually good until a late lunch. And for lunch, I’ve been either eating well at a restaurant (I’ve been eating lunch out SO MUCH MORE since we moved to the arsenal) or having a bowl of Kashi’s GoLean Crunch cereal at my desk. THAT’S incredibly filling too. (And tastes like Honey Smacks. MMMmm.)
So here’s my trick to make Ree’s already perfect recipe for the yogurt cream a bit better: I use nonfat yogurt and Splenda’s new Brown Sugar mix. It still sets the same, but knocks out almost ALL of the fat. And the antioxidants you’re getting in the blueberries are honestly good enough that any fat is worth having.
(Some people .. not the Skinny Bitch people, but some.. would argue that the full milk fat you get in the heavy cream of the yogurt sauce is actually a good fat for you. Women especially need that calcium.)
As for exercise? I really haven’t been as good as I should be. On nights that we can, the Binja and I will stroll down the Greenway or around the neighborhood. On nights that we can’t? We do nothing. I may find time to squeeze in some sit-ups, but I’m not stressing over it. I finally came to love my postpartum body (or just gave up caring about it looking like my prepartum body), and then the weight started to go.
And I leave you with this:
I went in to get measured for my costume for the show I’m in a month or so back. The costumer, whom I’ve known FOR-EV-ER, through out my bustline measurement with shock and awe. “FORTY TWO INCHES.”
I gasped. ”Damn baby,” I muttered.
She nodded to the other costumer, “Yeah, she’s still fat from the baby.”
I was kind of taken aback. ”Well, I mean, I had a baby about five months ago.. and I guess I’m not losing the weight as fast as I’d like..”
The other costumer patted my arm. ”You look wonderful, dear.” And I relaxed.
“Well, she didn’t USED to be this big,” commented the lady with the measuring tape. And I wanted to die.
Yesterday, I went in to be fitted. As I waddled in from the dressing room, trying not to get stuck with all of the wayward straight pins (and failing), she gasped. ”Honey, I’m gonna have to take in INCHES of this thing. You’ve lost quite a bit of weight.”
“WOOOHOOOO!!!!” or something like that was my reply. Probably complete with little happy dance.
“We’re gonna be able to give you shape!” she said, encouragingly. (For her.)
So there. Thanks to berries, cream, and laziness.