When I was young and knew everything, I was lucky enough to secure an internship at a local radio station.  I had always had an interest in media, and the “theatrical” nature of radio seemed like a perfect fit.

(I secured this internship by flirting with the night jock, but whatever.  I’m sure he saw the untapped talent there.)(Untapped.  Heh.)

The director of the station was a VERY difficult man, but he was also very successful.  I only chose to see the difficult side, and we constantly were butting heads.  Over EVERYTHING.  But I also learned a lot from his coaching, whether or not I wanted to admit it.

Listening to local radio now makes my ears hurt.  I often have to turn the channel.  I can’t even try and listen to morning shows.  If they had half of the guidance I was fortunate enough to have, they could clean up their shows and be SO MUCH BETTER.  But instead, it’s just crap.  I wish I could sugarcoat it, but it’s crap.

Like..

.. afternoon jock, if you’re going to play a listener request (which is a great thing!  do that!), either play it during the intro of the requested song or prior to a commercial break, with the requested song coming up next.  DO NOT PLAY THE LISTENER REQUEST IN AN INTRO OF ANOTHER SONG.  That’s just stupid.  And confusing.  And it sounds like you don’t take your requests seriously.

.. night jock, don’t say “Here’s the latest from (insert artist here)” if it’s their debut single.  Of course it’s the latest.  It’s the only.  Learn your artists.

.. other afternoon jock, don’t read half of a AP news release on a short intro of a song.  You have a countdown clock telling you EXACTLY how many seconds you have till the lyrics begin, so don’t throw in half of a story like you did the other day: “A girl was so busy texting, she walked in front of a train and died.”  WTF?  That’s not entertaining, music-related, or even appropriate. 

.. morning jock, please don’t play 10 minutes of David Letterman soundbites every morning.  Either come up with your own fodder, or play more music.  If we wanted David Letterman, we’d have stayed up the night before to watch him.

.. midday jock, listen to your levels.  We can’t hear you over your music.

.. any jock at any time, there is no reason to ever use a sound effects machine.  It annoys the hell out of your listeners.

.. night jock, please don’t yell.  If we are having trouble hearing you, we can turn up the volume.  Technology is that advanced, you know.

.. and finally, to all jocks and other copy editors: please don’t use a siren in your commercials.  It was an unspoken rule in my day that you never ever used audio of an actual siren in anything, lest you confuse drivers who are only half paying attention.  Like me. 

What annoys you on the radio?