WOW, it has been a CUHRAZY day.  I’m sure most of it is compounded by the fact that I’ve missed so much work this week and I’m kinda playin’ catch up today, but it’s still been chaotic and nutty.

Is it wrong that I want to cut out early?

SO.  I did NOT get an IUD today, because my doctor believes in placing the IUD when you’re on your period. (Are you stuck in “eww”?  Because I sure was.  I believe my response was, “WHY IN THE HELL WOULD YOU WANT TO VENTURE IN THERE WHEN I’M BLEEDING?”  He was all, “Hello, it’s my JOB” and whatnot.)

I did, however, get a pap smear.  Y’all know what a treat it is to get a pap smear?  On a Friday afternoon?  BEFORE YOU PERFORM THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES?  Yep.  It was just so many levels of awesome, I almost just collapsed from the sheer awesomeness of it all.

In truth, after you’ve had a baby, you don’t even hesitate to just drop trau and expose your nu-nu to the world.  Hell, it’s pushed out a baby that is now 16 FREAKIN POUNDS, so why not give it some air and a spotlight, right?

(My child is a behemoth.  Albeit a precious behemoth, but a behemoth nonetheless.  He could eat Jillian and Ethan and still have room for Penelope when she arrives.)

My ob/gyn said that he once witnessed a woman who wore the same IUD for 35 YEARS.  This grossed me out.  I try not to judge what other women do with their nu-nus, but dayum, lady. 

Well, I think that I am going to look at shoes and head wraps before heading home in preparation for tonight’s performance.  I wish you all a great weekend.  May you have a vaginerific day!

I know you’ve been without me for a couple of days.  And believe me, those couple of days are enough to make me want to gouge my eyes out with spoons.  I won’t have any time today to write, most likely, because I’m catching up on three days of missed work.  Here’s the Reader’s Digest version:

Binja’s going to the doc today.  His father is taking him, now that he’s back in town.  I swear to Jeebus that Binja waits until he senses there’s a single parent in the house and then he takes ill. (I kid.  That poor child has tried so hard to not be a bother.) But today is the first day the doc could see him without us waiting for hours on end and hoping to be squeezed in.  I just couldn’t do that with a sick baby.

Bryan came home last night (THANK GOD), but is suffering from The Crud himself.  He’s got a hacking cough, major sinus issues, and has an off-and-on fever.  HOWEVER, Binja’s pediatrician and Bryan’s family doc are in the same practice (they’re married), so perhaps he can squeeze some sort of meds out of his doc while visiting Binja’s.

My right hip is not working.  I’m having trouble walking today. 

I’m also having an IUD put in today. (TMI?  Don’t care.)

I’m in this show tonight and tomorrow night.  Everyone should come; tickets have now been reduced to $10 each, so there’s no need to wear some local college sweatshirt to pretend you get the student discount. (Not that I would do that.  I’m just sayin’.) Our cause this year is the Madison County Free Clinic (per usual) and SANE, which trains nurses to examine sexually assaulted victims.  Our theme this year is the Women of Katrina (also known as the Katrina Warriors), which is a cause near and dear to me.  Y’all know what a New Orleans freak I am.  Any show that requires us to wear Mardi Gras beads?  Seriously awesome.