Um.. ew.  So.. the water’s contaminated.  I guess we should stick to wine, then.

Some of you have emailed to ask about Tony’s lucky foot: what is it, how did it happen, what does it mean, and is it really as cool as Finding Nemo makes it sound?

The short answers are: post-medial tibia.. something or other that I can’t articulate without referencing WebMD; he is a yoga baby who got stuck in lotus position; we don’t quite know yet; and they TOTALLY STOLE DORY FROM MY LIFE. 

Because it’s all about me anyway, let me elaborate: I have no short-term memory.  Seriously.  That’s one of the main reasons I blog.. so everything is written down and I can remember later how incredibly witty and funny I am in the moment.  And humble, let’s not forget how humble I am about my perfection.  Throw in my innate ability to speak foreign languages (or at least my perception in doing so), the fact that I am easily distracted by shiny things, and my need to just keep swimming, and ta da!  I am Dory.  I imagine that, if Disney were to fill in the backstory of why Dory has no short-term memory, they would agree that she worked as a disc jockey in central Louisiana and smoked A TON of the wacky tabacky, and kids, drugs really DO kill your brain cells.  Oh, and I would totally be voiced by a lesbian comedienne.

What was I talking about?  Oh, my son.  Right.  With the foot. (more…)