I will be the first to admit that I may be a tad hormonal right now.
After all, there is no logical reason for me to bawl when I read that Dan Fogelberg had passed. Although his “Same Auld Lang Syne” is a crucial song to Bryan and I, and then our son presented himself solely on time with the same song (and during the sax solo at the end.. he’s our dramatic kid), but other than that? I didn’t know him. I don’t listen to him daily. Why did I feel the need to grieve?
Our oldest animal, Shelby, has been showing signs over the last week that her health is rapidly declining, to the point that her quality of life is now in question. She’s an older cat, has led a full life, and I have been urging Bryan to just take her to the vet and have her put down. (Her health is really that bad.) Why? Because (again.. ILLOGICAL) I don’t want my baby around walking death and misery. She is clearly suffering, and I fear Tony can pick that up. This is not logical thinking.
But on the whole, all hormones aside, it was a very rough weekend at our house. And I’m sure it’s just the first of many.
As difficult as this weekend was, I have been blessed to be part of a village that won’t let me suffer. Women from my family to my friends to my internet friends to friends who share my birthday have come to my rescue with phone calls, emails, visits, and just overall support. For instance, I got some great advice about using diapers as a warm compress from Elaine; Steph brought me a bottle of wine (which I totally dove into last night) and some vampire erotica; Ronda called me with advice about positioning the baby to get clogs out and how to tolerate men; and my mother and Jenni came over on Friday night to sit with me when I was so ill. I feel very blessed at times like this.
We’ve almost got the nursery set up to the point that Tony can begin sleeping in there. I’m excited to not live on the couch anymore; I think this will help me feel more “recovered”. Oh, and then I can begin that thing we like to call Christmas shopping.