Bryan and I lay in bed in the nursery last night, a very sleepy Tony between us.

“Are you scared?” he asked. 

“Even with his lucky foot, there’s nothing that seems insurmountable about this child,” I said, pushing back tears.  “Are you scared?”  He shook his head no.  “Well, you’ve done this before,” I said.

“It’s different,” he said.  His turn to push back tears.  “I feel so much more involved with this one.  And I know it sounds stupid, but I think having my blog helped.”

I smiled.  “It’s not stupid,” I said.  “It’s why we write.”

There is so much ahead of me that I could be terrified about.  Every day brings a bazillion questions that seem to rest on my shoulders and offer me about two bazillion chances to second guess myself. 

I want to thank everyone who reads here and offers support.  While my completely unabashed nature means I have no trouble airing my stupidity, it is so wonderful to know that others have gone through it, or it brought humor to someone’s day, or that we’re all human.  Because it makes me feel a little less stupid.  Little less.

It occurred to me today that I haven’t posted a single picture of Tony yet.  As silly as it sounds, I’m not ready to share him just yet.  I can’t stop staring at this tiny piece of brilliance and marveling at the fact that Damn, I did that.  I hope that we can soon fall into a routine here at the house and I can show you just how cool he truly is.

And maybe by then I’ll have gotten enough sleep to come up with witty taglines again.  Until then.. see you later, alligator. (God, that sucks.  MUST SLEEP.)

So, we’re home.

I can’t even tell you how excited I was to get here, and then I realized how great we actually had it in the hospital.  But, by the time 9:00 p.m. rolled around last night and we FINALLY pulled up in our driveway, the idea of being in my own house sounded like a dream.

Then Bryan got some raging case of stomach flu.  And Charlie wants to eat the baby. (We’re not sure that he really wants to EAT the baby, but he’s clearly too excited to get close to the child, and I don’t have enough oomph to fight him off.  The dogs are staying outside today.)

You ever see this scene from “Team America: World Police”?  That’s been Bryan.  Tony and I are slathering on the Purell (okay, I’m not slathering my baby in Purell.  Purell is expensive.  I am using generic.) in the hopes that we’ll miss this round.

So I say all of that to say this: my greatest accomplishment today will be to take a shower and pick up my pain meds.  Beyond that, we hope to do nothing.  We hope to be in a more hospitable shape by Wednesday, but until then, we won’t be accepting any visitors.  All of your kind wishes and funny emails have definitely kept us loved for the past few days, and we thank you. (And hope you still send us funny stuff.) But until all of us are well (and clean), we’re gonna hole up in our little house and suck on vitamin c.

You know, there were some times in the last twelve hours when I thought, “I was so stupid to think I could do this.”  But he’s so damn cool.  By far the best Christmas present I’ve gotten in a while.