Archive | November 16, 2007

There Are RULES, People!

By on November 16, 2007 in The Biotch

This morning, there was Christmas music on the radio.  Now, it’s not time for the non-stop Christmas music (or, as it is also known, Sarah’s Season), but the frost on my windshield combined with Burl Ives made me crave a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks.  I made a special trip.  It IS Friday, after all.

Well.. I don’t typically have caffeine in the morning.  I typically have juice and water.  My bowels were not prepared.

When my hands started swelling, I went and got 36 oz of water and chugged it.  And then my bowels were REALLY screaming.

I was so excited when I entered the bathroom and nary a soul was in there.  So I took the usual “poop stall”.. you know, the one furthest from the door and in a corner.. and began.

I heard the door open and SURE ENOUGH, someone took the stall RIGHT NEXT DOOR TO ME.  Who DOES that?  There are twelve stalls in this bathroom, and you pick the one next to me?  Seriously?  There is the unspoken rule of skipping a stall.  Or hell, pick one on the other side altogether.  But noooo..

Well, SUCKED to be her, lemme tell you.

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We Still Laugh.

By on November 16, 2007 in The Mommy

Me (whining, per usual): I’m so TIRED of being pregnant, Bryan..

Bryan: Well, I know a way we can get that started.. (starts humming the porno theme, “Bow Chicka Wow Wow”)

Me, ignoring him: Yeah, what’s the name of that herb again?  The one you take to start contractions?

Bryan, deadpan: Hemlock, I believe.

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By on November 16, 2007 in Uncategorized

This sickens me.  Seriously.  We sent them over there.  And this is what we do to help them adjust back home.

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A Little More Cheery

By on November 16, 2007 in The Mommy

I did it.

I’ve made peace with my body.

I was talking to my mom yesterday and it suddenly hit me: I would be inducing, like, today or something if my doctor had let me.  And yet, now that I’m here, there is nothing in my body saying that it’s time.  Tony does not feel ready to come out, and I can’t imagine trying to force him.  I think I made the right decision, even if it wasn’t my decision to make.

I got my haircut yesterday, which was fabulous.  I had to make myself go, because Lord knows I’m just too tired to do any-damn-thing lately and trudging off to the mall during the shopping season was only slightly higher on my list than “remove child from uterus with a toilet plunger”.  But I so love my stylist that it was worth the trip. (And the money.) I sat down and said, “Give me something wash and wear.”  When you have natural curl, you don’t GET style with wash and wear.. you get curl.  But she cut me a shag that is so cute and, seriously, we never touched a brush to it.

Of course, Bryan didn’t notice my hair was missing.  Two inches?  And nothing.

HOWEVER, he did come home before ten o’clock last night, which was amazing.  He’s so exhausted, bless his heart, but it was so nice to see him while I was still awake.

To the nice gentlemen who gave up front row parking at Target last night because he saw a pregnant woman sobbing as she drove: I tip my hat to you, sir.  The walk you saved me made my night.

It’s going to be a wonderful Friday.

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