I swear, for the last nine months, this is what I’ve thought of EVERY TIME there’s been a movement in my belly.
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor’s office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it. “Impossible!” says the doctor. “Show me.”
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and
screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her Knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, “You’re not really a redhead, are you?”
“Well, no” she said, “I’m actually a blonde.”
“I thought so,” the doctor said. “Your finger is broken.”
I started by writing a very long, very sad post about how I’m just in a funk right now. It’s easy enough to blame on hormones, but there are points in pregnancy when you just can’t crawl outside of the rain shower. I’m currently in one.
However, I wanted to (instead) tell everyone who reads this to go rent Grindhouse Presents: Death Proof. Bryan and I went WAAAY classy last night and grabbed some Golden Star chinese food and some Tarantino gore and just had a blast. The movie had a bit too much dialogue for Bryan, who was really just thirsty for a blood-fest, but I thought it was fabulous.
I was worried about it because I had heard that the movie seemed to focus on the objectification of women. I have no idea how anyone could think that. And while, yes, Tarantino definitely has an appreciation for hot ladies, it cannot be stated that he lacks an appreciation for the power they wield. Can you honestly say that the gorgeous Deadly Viper Assasination Squad from the Kill Bill series didn’t kick serious ass?!
This movie didn’t disappoint, either. And JesusGod, I adored Kurt Russell as Stuntman Mike, the bad guy. He was just so fabulous. I wish we had seen this in the theatre; it was totally the kind of movie you bond over with your armchair neighbor. And if you love gore and special effects (like moi!), this movie has a car crash that is to be worshipped for years to come. Seriously.
Maybe later this week, we’ll get the second half, Grindhouse Presents: Planet Terror. From the director of Sin City (which I just drooled over), this one promises to be as entertaining.
We also watched 1408 this weekend.. but we didn’t have such a glowing review of that one. (SUCKED ARSE.) Why do people take a short story (even from the master, Stephen King) and feel the need to stretch it out into a full length movie? This rule also covers tv sketches. There is no reason to ever make Night at the Roxbury. EVER.
Anyway, to recap: Grindhouse Presents: Death Proof? TOTALLY worthy of a rental. (Should’ve taken Nina’s advice and saw it in the theatre.) 1408? Get the book.
To-Do for 2013
* Be pregnant. Enjoy it. Make it meaningful.
* Allow some wiggle room.
* As many overnight adventures as we can fit in.
* Refocus finances.
* Post-pregnancy, get back into running.
* Read a book a month (not school or work related).
* Get the boys to play frisbee golf several times a month.
About Sarah Lena
Mom to a 5 year old, StepMom to a 12 year old, and Wife to a 40 year old, Sarah Lena is busy. She is a wrangler of rocket engineers by day, and a student and voiceover artist by night. She has an unabashed love of food, local theatre, and beauty products.