I wanted to share with you how glamorous I was last night.

I came home to my house around 12 hours after I’d left it.  I was EXHAUSTED.  I hurt in places I didn’t think could hurt (seriously.. how did I pull a muscle in my sphincter?). 

After feeding the dogs and microwaving my own meal, I sat on the couch to the end of Judge Joe Brown.  I saw that the dishwasher needed emptying, the living room could stand to be swept, and that honestly, the grass needed mowing again.

Instead, I got a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Cookie Dough and sat down to Hell’s Kitchen.  I just wanted a little taste of sweet.  Nothing much.. just some cookie dough.

Of course, by the end of Hell’s Kitchen (goodbye, freak-zit Melissa!), I had devoured the pint.  DEVOURED IT.

And I turned the tv to SuperNanny.

And then I woke up to the news.  I had passed out.  The dogs had licked the pint clean (like I had left them anything), were up on the couch with me, and I had a spoon in my shirt. 

I barely made it to bed.  I’m assuming my husband made it home at some point. (Men, if you want to have an affair, having it during your wife’s pregnancy.  Not only will she not remember, she probably won’t care.)

So that’s how glamorous my life is. 

Tell me you wouldn’t have LOVED one of these as a child.

Damnit, he took MY excuse.