Archive | June, 2007

So true, so true

It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious. – Oscar Wilde

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Avoiding Work on a Friday Morning

“And you know you’re late, even before you look at the clock.  You wake up, and think, ‘OhNo, I’m late!’ and then you actually LOOK at the clock and then think, ‘OHNO, I hate it when I’m like Nostradamus and predict my lateness!'” – Dane Cook

My alarm went off this morning.  I think.

It did not phase me.  I was in the middle of a very nice, very adult dream, and by God, I was going to finish it.  I woke up at seven.  And unlike Dane’s full set about waking up late to work, I could not just hide my stink in an oversized sweater in late June.. I had to shower.

So it was a bit of a hectic morning.

Since I was already running late, I decided to make a quick stop through Starbucks to grab a venti black iced tea lemonade.  I have decided to give myself these twice a week (Mondays and Fridays) as a reward for not spending money elsewhere.  There were no cars in line, and I thought it would not take me long to get it and be on my way.

I should state here, for the record, that I went against my own principles in this line of thinking.  There is nothing that irks me more than when someone walks into rehearsals late WITH food.  You had time to stop and get food, but you couldn’t here early enough to prevent the rest of us from having to wait?  But I digress.

So I pull up to the window, and this is how I’m greeted:

GOOD MORNING!  Thank you for choosing Starbucks on this wonderful morning!!  My name is ******, and just how might you be doing on this gorgeous a.m.?

I am a little taken aback.  Because I just want some damn tea.  I mumble out that I’m fine, thank you.  And then wait, because she gave me no opening to continue my order.

I am so happy to hear that!  So.. what can I get started for you this morning?  Some coffee?  We have a new raspberry mocha that is getting rave reviews!

I seriously start looking for the hidden camera at this point.  Who in the hell talks like this? (Other than employees who have been sipping espresso since 5 a.m.) I offer my order, in the correct lingo as to assist the key-punching that inevitably follows. (Venti – Shaken Iced Tea Lemonade – Black tea – sweetened – two punches of orange)

That sounds great!  I’ll get that started for you.. now, is your tummy rumbling for something yummy from our pastry cabinet?  How about a low-fat muffin for breakfast?

1) What about my order screams that “low-fat” might appeal to me?  Should I be offended that she offered it as a first choice option?  And 2) AM I FIVE YEARS OLD?!  TUMMY RUMBLING?

By now, it has taken exactly SEVEN minutes to get to the window.  I throw my money at the poor girl in the window (who, admittedly, was not the peppy little sprite that ate up my ten minute buffer) and grab my tea and leave.  Although I got my ultimate wish (I have the tea, after all), I am left with the hollow knowledge..

.. that my tummy is RUMBLING.

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So Everyone Can Dance

Last night’s absolutely breathtaking Wade Robson piece

I wish the quality were just a TAD higher.. because it’s gorgeous.

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The Anvil Tree has opted to no longer provide syndication. 

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Where in the hell was THIS piece of evidence two weeks ago?!

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