• I hate breaking in new headbands.  While they’re super cute and helpful at containing my growing out (at the rate of a Chia Pet) hair, wearing one for the first time is painful.  I’ve got a mammoth of a headache, with no chewable Tylenol in sight.
• Dad was out for most of the afternoon, but he just called a minute ago to say, “Well?  Can I hang up my signs now?”  I have no idea what in the hell he’s talking about, but I think he’s excited.  A tad.
• I saw Sweetie in Target this weekend, and it made my day.  Even though I had tons of close friends growing up, I never had any that I would stop pushing a cart to go hug their parents.  Till now.
• Bryan thinks it’s a girl.  I just think it’s a nuisance. (Cause I’m AWFUL.) Oooh, and speaking of.. we’ve been talking names.  I’m going to have to end this bulletized list..

So I that I can begin another one!  Hooray for you!  Two bulletized lists in one day.. it makes you wonder if the locusts are coming next, doesn’t it?

Alright, so.. admittedly, we’ve been thinking WAY more seriously about girl names than boy names, because of Bryan’s afore mentioned gut feeling about the gender.  So, for a girl.. we have..

• Deborah - we both have tons of Debbies in our lives, and I’ve always liked it paired with Anne, from “of Green Gables”.  My fave.
• Jean - a name from my mother. (I DID NOT SAY WHICH NAME, MOM.)
• Jillian - a suggestion from Ra that would give us Jack & Jill.
• Ava or Eva - Bryan has an Aunt Eva, but I like Ava better.  It’s younger and fresher and, more importantly, there’s a famous person with that name.
• Luna - I laughed at this one, so I think it’s out.
• Georgia - I just like it.  Bryan named that stray he found in Chattanooga “Georgia”, and I thought it was beautiful.
• Sophia - As in, Loren.  Again, I like famous people’s names.
• And I have ONE MORE name that I’m holding on to tightly, because there is something about it that I’ve loved since I heard it, and it has a great nickname, and it’s what I’m secretly going to call her regardless of what Bryan calls her.  So there.

For a boy, which — again – we did not take seriously, we have:

• Homer - yes, Homer Comer.  Bryan did a skit in high school as a car salesman named Homer Comer (I wish I could share with you the glasses he wore), and it has just been in my crawl ever since.
• Beach - yes, Beach Comer.  I was really proud of Bryan for this one.  In fact, we decided that if it was in fact a girl, we could name her Laguna Beach Comer and then she could choose to share the joke.  Or not.
• Coke - so then we would have Jack & Coke.  We know Aunt TK would approve.  I tried to work Daniel in, but it did not work.

I am open to suggestion for boys’ names only.  And they must make me laugh to be considered. (WHAT AM I GONNA DO IF IT’S A BOY?!)

So.

I walked into her office, trying to hide the fact that I was shaking.  Why?  Because I was terrified that she would hate me.  I had tissues stuffed in both pockets of my denim jacket, because I know that ANYTHING makes me cry now.. this would definitely be anything.  I sat down at her conference table, with her across from me, and ..

.. I completely avoided the conversation.  I asked how her holiday was, how her plants were doing, if she got any good pics of her recent trip..

And, a half hour later, I said that I wanted two days off in June.  She said she thought that would be fine.  And I stood to leave.

Then, as if the third party involved got a vote, my tummy GROWLED.  Now, you’ve never heard noises like the one your stomach makes when you’re pregnant.  They are insane.  And she looked at me funny.  So I sat back down.

“The big one..” I said.

“Okay, the big one.” she said.

I took a deep breath and immediately lowered my eyes.  “The big one is that I’m 13 weeks pregnant.  I’m due on December 1st and I don’t plan to stay out any later than our leave allows.  I know the timing sucks, but..”

She finally interrupted me.  “Sarah.. timing never sucks on a baby.  Congratulations!”  And I finally met her eyes and saw her beaming from ear-to-ear.  Then she asked the dreaded question, “Aren’t you excited?”

Ah, this one I knew the answer to.  “I HATE BEING PREGNANT,” I moaned.  She laughed.  And then we talked about the season finale of The Office.

So, all in all, it’s done.  And five minutes later, it was pretty much forgotten or a non-issue.  Because I’m that girl who doesn’t need validation or a badge or sympathy or even knowing glances. 

I’m the girl with the curly hair and dark eyes.

ARGH.

I was so ready today.  I AM so ready today.  Today was the day I was going to “come out” at work.  I was going to announce to my coworkers that I am carrying a child.

I have the entire thing rehearsed: “[Boss], I have some news.  I’m currently 13 weeks pregnant.  I am due December 1st, and I plan on staying out no longer than our company’s paid leave permits.  This will have me back no later than Feb. 1st, all medical approvals permitting.  I hope you are as excited as I am about this new development, and I hope that my performance through my first (and categorically, most difficult) trimester will ease any doubts you have about my future performance through the rest of my pregnancy.”

It sounds a bit cold, doesn’t it?  A bit business like?  Well, it has to.  That’s the only way I know to get through this.  Although I know she never would, part of me expects her to slam her fist down and go, “NO!  I cannot have two pregnant employees!  You are the low man on the totem pole.. you’re fired.”  (Please, God, don’t let that happen.  Or.. actually.. because of legalities.. I’d be okay if that happened.)

But.. my boss isn’t here yet.  I’ve been relishing this day for weeks now, and she’s not here.  Is she coming in at all?  Or is she just running late?  I DON’T KNOW.  I am hoping she just ran over a cat on the way to work and is running late.

And I’m not the only one suffering right now.  It occurred to me just last week that I pretty much told my father, “Hey, you’re having your first grandchild!  BUT DON’T TELL ANYONE.”  He’s been busting at the seams.  He asked me to call him right after we have our discussion so he can begin spreading the news. 

What I’m excited about?  Just having people know.  I wish I could say “sleeping in without remorse” or “shirking off duties” or anything like that.  But I won’t do that.  I haven’t done that.  It’s not me. 

… is she here YET?!