We all have them.. those moments when we don’t have a camera, and we close our eyes really tight in the hopes that we can forever imprint that memory in our minds, as if we just uploaded it for later.

I had one tonight.  It was a mild night in Five Points, with the sun starting to disappear behind the houses, and the boys decided to take their brand new bikes out for a spin.  I leashed up the dogs and inevitably fell behind them.  As they drove, I saw their heads spin around to talk to eachother, the almost-seven-year-old and the almost-….-year-old wheeling down the street. 

They looked so much alike at that point, and I stayed behind them just to watch.  Eventually, though.. with them having wheels and me waddling with my four month pregnant self.. they disappeared out of view.

You know you’re watching quality court tv when the defendent objects, “These are baloney-ous allegations, your Honor!”

I have to admit something: I have been one lazy momma today.  I had a whole list of things I meant to do.. I had a grocery list, I had some things I wanted to check on, I had some last minute birthday hoorah stuff to do.. and I haven’t left the couch.  I took a long bath around noon, took a long nap after that, and am now sitting back on the couch, enjoying Judge Marilyn Milian.

Sure, I got up at eight and cleaned, swept, mopped, put away, and scrubbed, but that was a long time ago and since then, I have been far less than productive.

It’s SOOOO wonderful.

In other news, I want to talk about maternity leave.  You know what sucks about our country?  The medical leave.  Now, admittedly, we’ve come a fur piece from where we were, thanks to the Family Medical Leave Act.  Now, we have our jobs guaranteed for us from 6-8 weeks.  However, we don’t have to be paid.  And that’s ALL the time we are guaranteed to have our jobs held.  Can you imagine handing your baby over to a daycare worker you’ve never met before at 6 weeks?!  I’m trying to stomach that today.  It’s not easy.  Sure, I could take unpaid leave after that, but we just couldn’t afford that. 

And I’ve heard that in Europe, women get as much as a year FULLY PAID maternity leave.  In Canada, they get 3 months fully paid.  And here we are.. living the American Dream.. and trying to figure out what’s more important: bonding with your newborn or paying for her formula.

ANNNND.. I’m off my soapbox.

Coming up later this weekend: we’ve been talking baby names!!

A few weeks ago (while I was in California, actually), I recieved a message from someone I hadn’t talked to in a LOOONG time.  It had probably been two years since I’d seen him last.  We messaged back and forth a few times, and it was agreed we’d meet when I got back.

Now, let me just say that this particular person (who doesn’t like to be named in my posts.. who knows who reads these things, right?) is one of the more lively and animated people I’ve ever known.  He and I always had an amazing chemistry between us, and I was slightly nervous about being in his presence again.

We met for lunch one day when I returned, and it made me so sad.  This man who sat before me, the one who usually lit up a room, had an overwhelming sadness in his eyes.  He smiled and laughed and said everything was “okay”, but it was just obvious that he was not happy.  And I didn’t know what to say when he asked me how I was.

“I’m fine,” I started off, feeling like anything more was gloating.  “Actually, I’m good.  I got a fantastic promotion last year, I’m married to a man that I love more than I thought was possible, and I’m pregnant with our first child.  We live in a fabulous neighborhood and we really enjoy our lives.  Everything is perfect.. in a way I didn’t know to expect.”

His eyes darkened even more.

Then, he came out with it: he was in a rut in his relationship.  He and this girl hooked up around the time I last saw him, and they were all but living together.  He was smitten, but then he said “things just got hard.”  His eyes darted back between the sweet tea and the salt shaker as he talked, and I wondered if he was holding back tears.  I asked where they stood now, and he said they were still holding on, but there were serious trust issues and jealousy was taking its toll.

And I wanted to fix it for him, but the very selfish part of me was so glad that I had the life I did and everything was the way it was.  So I offered my condolences and said I was always available to talk. 

We’ve chatted a bit since then, but it’s just not the same.  He’s just so sad.  It amazes me that no one around him has noticed this. 

Or maybe they all have and, like I did, decided to shelter their own lives and turn away.