Naw, Dawg..

Originally uploaded by SarahLena.

This is one of Delle’s pics, but it makes me laugh. Hard.

Because in my head, the holder of the camera has been talking smack. Something along the lines of, “Aww, you can’t even keep from droolin’, dawg! Step up!”

And clearly Baby Matthew (on the right, covered in drool) was gonna come over and whoop some camera ass, but his homie to the left was like, “No, dawg, chill! I got this! I. Got. This.”

(And quite frankly, that anonymous baby scares me a bit.)

I know it’s been quiet here.  I’m sorry.  How horrible of me to drop a bomb like “I’M PREGNANT!” and then keep silent.  In truth, I took Wednesday off (as planned) and then yesterday as well (unplanned, entirely).  So I’ve spent time at home and offline, doing stuff that I never thought I would do.

Namely, I got on waiting lists for daycares (gasp!) and bought maternity clothes (bigger gasp!).  The daycare thing is quite worrysome; can you believe you can put your unborn fetus on some lists and STILL not make it in?  But the maternity clothes?  Man, I almost cried when I tried them on yesterday.  Not because I was bummed about it, but because they felt so good.  No more cramping my belly or restraining my breasts.  I just felt.. happy.

So, as promised, here are some thing that you’re going to experience in early pregnancy that I don’t think anyone prepared me for:

• YOUR BODY IS NOT YOUR OWN.  This struck me most when it came to realizing that something was different in my body.  As a girl who had IBS and at least four bowel movements a day, I got a little freaked out when I only pooped once every two days.  The answer?  Lots of water, tons of fiber.  These are things you need ANYWAY, but I’ve found they really help. 
• YOUR HAIR IS NOT YOUR OWN.  I had heard about “pregnancy hair”, but I wasn’t ready for my head to transform into Medusa.  My hair has gotten so thick that Bryan has gotten accustomed to the crash of the hairdryer and brush every morning when I finally can’t take it anymore and collapse into a sobbing heap.  It’s also growing at a speed that would rival a Chia pet.
• DON’T EVEN TRY TO CONTROL YOUR STOMACH.  When I heard the term “morning sickness”, I had been around enough pregnant women to know that A) it is not limited to morning and B) not every woman suffers from it.  Instead of just vomiting all the time, I am disgusted by all food.  Which, as you can imagine, makes me want to scoop out my eyes with dull spoons.  Because of this, Bryan just has to nod when I say, “How does chicken gizzard sound for dinner?” because if it sounds good to me, chances are we’re going to eat it.
• THE BOOKS DON’T KNOW ALL.  I was also the girl who ate one meal a day — dinner.  So when “What to Expect” told me I had to have six small meals a day, I was miserable.  Especially when you consider that I hated food.  Finally, after a week of feeling like a whale, Delle said, “Are you taking your vitamins?” (Yes.) “Well, then eat what you want.. even if it’s less.. and just make sure to eat lots of protein and calcium.”  And just like that, I felt worlds better.

 

So that’s not a total list, but those are some of the key points I’ve picked up so far.  And I spared you gory details of my bowel movements, too! 

The best part of pregnancy?  Bryan’s hand on my tummy.