As part of our “adjustment” exercises, The Boy has a journal at our house (we’re hoping one at both houses, but Lord only knows).  It is a hard and fast rule that only he is allowed to touch it, read it, or even move it.  It is HIS journal, and he may write whatever he wants in there.  Occasionally, he will ask us to participate.

The Boy: Sarah, I think you should write in my journal.
Me: Okay, what should I write?
The Boy: I dunno; whatever you feel like.  And it will be a secret between you and me.
Me: Okay. (I write, “I THINK [THE BOY] IS A REALLY COOL KID.  I HOPE WE CAN READ CHAPTER BOOKS TOGETHER SOON.”  Then I close the journal and return it where it was.)
The Boy: Good. (He paces as he tries to overcome the anticipation, and finally, he grabs the journal and flips open to where I’ve written in it.  He takes his time, soaks it all in, then snaps it closed and puts it back.)
The Boy: So, Sarah.. it seems you think I’m a pretty cool kid.
Me: Yes, I most certainly do.
The Boy: You don’t have to keep THAT a secret, you know.

So, back to the To-Do List for last evening, lemme just update on why I rock so friggin hard.

Quite frankly, I’m exhausted.  And this morning, after getting back from walking the dog and dropping a book off at Caroline’s, I cleaned house, did the dishes, and..

You know what?  It doesn’t matter.  I’m tired.  No matter how productive I’ve been, all I know is that I’m exhausted.

And I know that those of you with children have no sympathy for me, and I deserve that.  I can’t IMAGINE throwing a child into my schedule.  Especially with the Dish Elf infestation happening at my house.

.. what?  You don’t have Dish Elves at YOUR house?

They are evil, those Dish Elves.  I hate them.

Let me first set the stage with this: we have no dishwasher.  Is it because our house isn’t wired to house a dishwasher?  Nope.  There’s actually plumbing AND a breaker specifically designed for a dishwasher.  Is it because I enjoy doing dishes?  Nope.  And did I mention my hands have an allergy to water?

So every night, I wash while I cook.  I do this so when I finally serve dinner, all that’s left to wash is the actual dishes we eat off of or serve out of.  Yet, every morning when I get up, those damn Dish Elves have been out, dirtying yet more dishes and leaving them in the sink.  I’ve tried repellent, I’ve tried no-kill traps, and I’ve tried sonic radar beams.  They’re immune to all of them.

They were apparently very active last night.  Must be the sudden heat wave that got them all riled up.  But when I went to bed, there was only the skillet (which had to soak) in the sink.. maybe my wine glass.  That’s it.  I woke up to THREE more glasses and a dirty pitcher.  They obviously had a party.

I think the only sure-fire way to get rid of the infestation is to install a dishwasher.  I’m not positive, but I’m willing to chance it.

(This tongue-in-cheek post brought to you by Passive Aggressive Sarah.  Now in Spineless Flavor!)