So the lady I work with whose husband leaves her surprises all the time brought her a big ole plate from Tim’s Cajun Kitchen for lunch. 

I. AM. DYING.

It smells SOOOOO good.  And I mean, I had a dose of cajun last night.. I finally needed some comfort food and made Rotel Chicken, a comfort dish I learned about in Louisiana.  It was soo good, and I told Bryan, “I don’t care if you eat any of it, or even if you like it, I made it for me.” (So he ate some on his own, and even liked it.)

I have a big ole tupperware thing of it sitting in my fridge at home.  I’m debating actually going alllllll the way home to eat it.

Cajun.  Mmm.

First of all, thank you for my daisy this morning.  I SOO needed it.

I want to talk to all of the women who read this, because I saw something last night that made me really stop and think about my life and how I run it.  I caught one of my favorite speakers, Suze Orman, on PBS last night in her special “Women with Money“.

When I was younger, and VERY upside down with money, I happened to walk by her book The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke while I was sipping a venti chai latte and shoe shopping. (ANY idea why I was upside down with money?).  It was colorful, it was written by a woman for people my age, and I was intrigued by the concept, so I purchased it and took it home.

It was so incredibly compelling to me, the idea that I could control my own money, that I poured through it in a day.  I still have it and LOVE it.  So let me start by preaching that EVERYONE read that book.

(And let me profess that I am no genious with money, by any stretch of the imagination.  But I am WORLDS better than I used to be, thanks in part to Suze.)

Anyway, last night she was on PBS.  I really stopped because I noticed something: I have her haircut.  Sure, mine is younger because it’s flippy in the back, but we essentially have the same cut.  I’m rambling.  Sorry.

She introduced a concept to me that made the lightbulb go off: she said women tend to treat themselves as if they were on sale. (I know, I know.. I thought we were talking prostitution too.) But women, generally, don’t believe in our own worth.  We don’t demand that we be compensated for our skills.  We barter with people so we can overextend ourselves, and receive things/services we don’t really want in return.

OHMYGOD.  I SO DO THAT.

And my favorite point was one that she made to clarify this.  She said she often speaks to women’s groups, and often, a woman is leading the meeting and offering an introduction to her before the session begins.  And the woman will stand up there and thank all of the attendees for coming, for contributing, for whatever.. and inevitably, the woman will begin talking about volunteering.  We should give back, we should volunteer, we should contribute without any reciprocation. 

Yet, when she speaks to men’s groups, and she has spoken to many, many men’s groups.. there is never a word mentioned about volunteering.  Never once has she watched the meeting’s organizer stand up and preach to his audience that they — men — should be volunteering.

Now, before I receive the hatemail telling me that we should all give back to the community and volunteering is what makes the world turn and blahblahblah, I say this: volunteering is where you receive something in return, and the quality of what you’re receiving is no less (or ideally, more) than the quality of the time you’re donating.

So, ladies, no longer be afraid to demand a raise.  No longer be afraid to say no when you’re asked to cosign on a loan.  No longer be afraid to say yes to something you want. 

Because we’re not on sale.  We’re worth every penny we would ask for if we were men.

I needed that this week.  I hope you did too.