Last year, I wrote a slightly angry post about “free community” festivals charging too much to get in the gates, and therefore orphaning the community they claimed to reach.  This year, my company is making a difference, and I’m very proud to be volunteering.

There are some people out there who thrive on drama. (I typically would say “women”, but I have learned that it’s not necessarily “women”.. there are weak men as well.) They are constantly looking for “enemies” to blame all of their woes on, and they enjoy being in conflict.

I am not one of those people.

So when things happen in my life that are not within my control, or I have to ask for help with something, I HATE IT.  I will lose sleep.  I will shut down.  I hate not having control.

And even worse is when I try and admit that I need help, which makes me feel like a TOTAL loser, and I get blank stares.  I HATE THAT.

Like at work.  Let’s say I have a project at work that is a joint-effort, only the “joint” part is not happening.  So for a long period of time, I carry the weight, hoping that (eventually) the team will kick back in.  After all, it’s a joint-effort.  We’re all going to reap the rewards, right?  But when I say, “Okay, I’m tired of having to do ALL of this, and I need help,” and I get blank stares back?  And then I hear, “Well, you didn’t TELL us you needed help.”?

JOINT-EFFORT.  TEAM.  Shouldn’t have to tell you.  I’d kinda like you to be involved and engaged enough to pick it up on your own.  And when I have to tell you, it really hurts. 

So, yeah.. work’s stressing me out a bit.  That’s all.