At work, in life, there are people you encounter who are hard to deal with.  This is an inevitability.  The challenge comes in finding ways to connect with them on any level: personal, professional, even comical. 

I have one such individual.  I deal with him through tough love, although everyone often gasps when I do.  I am hard on him, in my own way.  And every now and again, he smiles.

But for the most part, he is made of stone.  It’s hard to find the person in there.  I’ve tried to imagine him at home, with his children, and wonder if he softens for them.  If he giggles while his grandchildren use his massive frame as a jungle-gym.  If he tears up at every cartoon that hints at growing up, like I do.

Nothing drives home humanity and the frail nature of it so much as sitting next to someone when they receive news of death.  To watch the color drain from their face, and their eyes tighten, and see them tense up around the notion of never seeing the face of a loved one again.. that is something that makes you empathize with even the most intolerable human being.

All I could do was put my hand on his.  He was trembling.

It’s been a long day.

Typically, even during the busiest days, there is a lull right about now.  There is a point where I cannot do anything without inputs from someone else, where I’m waiting on something from someone, or whatever. 

Today is not one of those days.  I need a lull.

First off, I should state here: I think I am still drunk.

I slept like a freaking rock, thanks to Ra’s Reisling and Kari’s pomegranate martinis, but I’m pretty sure I’m slightly intoxicated.  I KNOW I shouldn’t have driven home last night, as I crawled up on the back of our couch last night upon arriving and wouldn’t be bothered to move.  Why the BACK of the couch, you ask?  Because I could get on it without having to bend over.  Just kinda flopped my drunk ass up there.

Aside from my delving into the 24-year-old side of Sarah, last night was also about books. (I kept whining to Bryan about this last night while he urged me to, you know, stop drooling on the back of the couch: “Leave me alone; I’ve been intellectual all night.”) Our book club choice for the month of January was Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, which actually turned out to be a very good read. 

We covered some very interesting aspects of the book last night.  Ra brought pictures of several footbindings, which spawned all sorts of conversations.  We also discussed the modern-day equivalents of lao taong, or “old-sames”, women who are bound to eternal friendship.  And we talked about modern-day daughters-in-law.  You did not want to be a daughter-in-law, because they are basically that younger floozie that people look down on.

Did I mention martinis?  We did that, too.  And had dumplings, and pot-stickers, and miso soup.. it was awesome.  We laughed.  A LOT.

And I needed it.  Desperately.

After coming home every night for three weeks and working another two hours from home, I needed a night where I didn’t turn on the computer once.  I needed a night to relax, to let loose, and to feel okay.  It was nice.

The hangover?  Not so much.

Next month: My Sister’s Keeper