I hope everyone has a Christmas that is full of things that make them grateful for the breath they took this morning.  I hope everyone laughs loudly, smiles broadly, and tears up at least once today.  I hope you lay your head on your pillow tonight thankful that you had today, and hopeful that tomorrow will be as wonderful.

Bryan and I were given a very generous gift from my parents, and we will be using some of that to acquire something I wish I had this morning: a fancy digital camera, so that I could capture my favorite married memory so far.. Bryan and The Boy crouched in his bedroom floor, assembling a Hot Wheels racetrack from Santa.  Norman Rockwell ain’t got nothin’ on this house.

If I can’t reach you on the phone today, and you wish to join us:

Rave Theatres, 8:00 p.m.
Night at the Museum

Merry Christmas!!

“There may be some doubt as to
who are the best people to have children,
but there can be no doubt that
parents are the worst.”
- Unknown

 

I made a giant error in judgement today.  Well, two.

The first was that I went to Target.  I knew better.  Hell, I’ve blogged about it.  And had I trusted my gut, I would’ve avoided it.  I did well at first, only wandering to Bed Bath and Beyond, and PetSmart.  I even went into Shoe Carnival.  But I basically could not resist the gravitational pull of that Bulls Eye.  I can’t help it.  I am weak.  I admit it.

So, SURPRISE!, Target is a nightmare.  I know you’re shocked.  I was.

I found myself in the baby section, you know, cause I have so many children.  But then I realized I had been MEANING to buy some teething rings for Scout and Matthew, so I made my way to .. that.. section.. with mouth.. stuff.  That’s when the second mistake occurred.. when I got lost, I kept walking.

And found “breast salve”.  To, you know, soothe cracks and burns.  ON YOUR BREAST.

I was reduced to a shivering pile of wussy singledom.  My ovaries took this opportunity to shrivel up and scream.  I think any eggs that had currently been considering a trip down the filopian Slip & Slide suddenly began digging into my uterus and holding on for dear life. 

Delle and John stopped by not much later, while The Boy and Bryan were out in the front yard shooting eachother with foam guns, and Delle confirmed: “Yes, Sarah.. they crack and ooze.  You need to know that.”

And I went in and took, like, eighteen birth control pills.

Why do women DO that to their bodies?  Why?!

Oh, and Merry Christmas and all that jazz.

“I often quote myself.
It adds spice to my conversation.”
- George Bernard Shaw