“When red-haired people are above a certain social grade,
their hair is auburn.”
- Mark Twain

 

I’m awake.

There are many and various sundry reasons why I’m awake, none of which are very amusing.  However, since it’s four in the morning, and I don’t have anything else to do, I shall talk about them.

I’m technologically stumped.  I braved the final frontier and finally made use of the domain that had been calling my name for two years now.. I purchased www.theanviltree.com.  I also signed up for a very inexpensive support/hosting plan.  Guess what?  I have no idea what I’m doing.  Like, none.  I finally, after two days, figured out how to log into my control panel, but there’s no button that says “Post” or “Publish”, so I’m.. AGAIN.. at a loss.  Which is fine.  I enjoy learning new things, so this will just be one of them.

I’m calling the doctor in the morning.  There are several reasons I should’ve gone earlier, the fact that I’ve been sick as a dog since the wedding being one of them, but when Jenni came home the other day I noticed something that scared me.. I have a growth on my jaw, right beside my ear.  My father had a tumor removed from the same spot when I was 19, so I’m trying not to worry about it.  I also have TMD, which is a poor woman’s excuse to avoid giving blow jobs (ha!), so it could be a result of undue pressure in my jaw.  Either way, the worry is starting to keep me awake at night, and as y’all know.. I may let medical issues go too long, but I sure as hell will not let it mess with my sleep.

I need sunglasses.  I know this sounds like a stupid thing to worry about at 4:15 in the morning, but I can’t find any I like.  And after laying awake for a couple of hours, you find all sorts of nonsensical bullshit to focus on.

I’m ready to be the wife I wanted to be.  Like, I’m gonna cook.  That’s really it.  I already clean house, I already bring home a decent wage, but now I’m going to start cooking.  And because I’ve put on some unwanted holiday weight, I’m going to try and cook healthily.  Which is a challenge, because Bryan hates all things healthy.  So I think this one is going to kill me.  But maybe I’ll be skinny before death.

My biological clock is TICKING.  I am so trying to not be that newlywed, because I really am not in the whole “I need a baby” mode.  I’m not.  I don’t know that I seriously want kids.  Believe me, if you need birth control.. go to the mall on any given night.  Watch the heathen children.  My ovaries shrivel up every time.  But at the same time, there are times when I wonder.. would the baby have my eyes?  And Bryan’s hands?  And then I snap out of it, usually because some heathen child has begun to scream again.

I have a friend who is hurting, and I can do nothing about it.  I won’t go into details here, but it sucks to have your hands tied.  I would fix it all, if I could.

That’s about it.  I leave you with this amazing picture of my husband, playing with the shutter speed the day after Christmas with the new camera..

 

The Ghost of Christmas (1 Day) Past

No quote today.  I don’t want one.

Instead, I wanted to share this with you.

For my bachelorette/wedding gifts, I got two Victoria’s Secret cards.  Because I’m playing the role of “depressed, slovenly redhead” today, I didn’t want to leave my couch, even when Steph called to herald the return of the cotton panty to VS and the sale today at $3 a pair.  So I hopped online.

And this was on my final tab:

192210 Ultra-Softening Body Butt

Which, you know, I had to share with you.

Also, I got really tickled today at how cheap Bryan and I are.  Bryan and I don’t really splurge on ourselves very often.  Our iPods were a huge deal for either of us to receive.  We have the free phones Cingular gave us.  I color my hair at home, and we both go to MasterCuts to have our heads trimmed.  We grocery shop at Kroger’s because they have that swipe thingie that shows me how much money I saved. 

So when we were given money and gift cards for Christmas, we immediately went over what bills we could pay with it.  Don’t misunderstand; we can pay our bills, but when we had extra money, we immediately thought it should go to bills.  Bryan is currently at Home Depot getting weatherstripping for our house.  I have been browsing Bed, Bath, and Beyond for discounted sheets.  Our gift cards are for life, not for frivolity.

So when he called to check in, we decided: a camera is a splurge.  And we’re both going to get a new pair of tennis shoes.  This is our Christmas splurge.

(But the rest will go to bills.)