Archive | December, 2006

A Whole New World..

So.. here it is.  My site.  Mine.  Cool, huh?

It’s not really cozy yet, and for that I apologize.. it kinda reminds me of my first apartment the day after I moved in.  The walls were still bare, it still had the smell of fresh paint, and the carpet was dingy from someone else.  But it was still mine, and it was like a blank canvas.

A HUUUUUGE thank you to Geoff for helping me get WordPress set up.. I hope to soon have my familiar header bar up and a pretty new theme to greet you.  I’m still learning all the tricks, so if you happen to read this and know some of the answers… well, email me already.

  • I plan to have a sidebar completely dedicated to random thoughts as I have them that aren’t worthy of an entire post.. so as to save your Google Reader and Bloglines subscriptions the effort of having to hear me expound on things you don’t truly care about.  Like this bullet.
  • I hope to have a Flickr stream set up so you can see how much we’re enjoying the new camera.  And so it looks like I have a life outside of tv and theatre.
  • Oh, and I plan to have another sidebar dedicated to gossip generated by where my life DOES lie: tv and theatre.

It’s coming, guys.  Slowly but surely.  So.. you know.. hang in there.  With me.

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Listening. It’s what’s for dinner.

“When I was young, my ambition was to be one of the people
who made a difference in this world.
My hope is to leave the world a little better
for having been there.”
– Jim Henson


My day was stolen from me.

But it’s okay.

I went to the doctor at 11:45 for my noon appointment.  I knew my usual doctor was out of the office on maternity leave, but they had a resident/physician’s assistant helping out in the meantime.  And those of you who know are familiar with the fact that I don’t like my doctor anyhow, so whatever.

At 1:00 p.m., I was finally brought back to a waiting room.

At 1:45, the assistant came in.  She looked run-down, tired, and five minutes behind.  And I can TOTALLY relate to that.  She shook my hand.. something my doctor has never, ever done.  Even before she stuck her hand in places most of my very good friends will never visit.  And she said, “You are so beautiful.  I’m sorry, I know that’s inappropriate, but your hair color against your skin.. you’re just beautiful.”

I cried.  Because I firmly believe in saving my tears for people who have NO reason to deal with them.

I showed her the lump on my face, and explained my father’s history, and that it could also be swelling from TMJ.  She felt around my throat and said, “No, sweetheart, that’s your lymph node.  Let’s check the rest of them.”

I, of course, immediately freak out.  Lymphoma is not unknown in my family.  I start confessing that I’d had a similar issue under my arms about a month ago, but they went away.  She said, yep, they were all pretty swollen.  Then she asked if I’d been sick.


How long?

Since.. god.. since, well.. um.. I got married three months ago, but it was before that..

Her mouth fell open.  “The exhaustion alone should’ve stopped you,” she said, shaking her head.  “Your white blood cell count is through the roof.  Why haven’t you been in here?”

I pointed to my chart.  Where it said I had been in there.  Twice in the last six months.  She shook her head.  “Look,” she said, lowering her voice, “you need to go to a new doctor.  Your immune system is WAAAAY weak, and you’re going to do yourself in if no one stops you.”

I asked her where she practices, because I really could’ve followed her into hell by this point.  But she doesn’t practice yet.  I gave her my phone number and told her to call me when she gets set up, because I will be first in line.

So we’re treating it as a severe infection for a week.  If nothing improves, more testing.  But I was so excited to be heard.  I had forgotten how important practicing medicine could be, and what a profound difference a good doctor can make.  And how important bedside manner is.

I’m tired today.  But better, oddly enough.  Part of me wants to go out to a big, fancy, yummy dinner.  The other part of me is exhausted, and wants to just dine on whatever I can make in the kitchen.  But all of me is happy today.

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Keep Me Hoomen

Me: Bryan, did you know that you’ve been stealing the covers at night?
Bryan: Oh, well, you’ve been snoring AND farting at night.  How ’bout them apples?
Me: Well played, sir.  Well played.

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Four a.m.

“When red-haired people are above a certain social grade,
their hair is auburn.”
Mark Twain


I’m awake.

There are many and various sundry reasons why I’m awake, none of which are very amusing.  However, since it’s four in the morning, and I don’t have anything else to do, I shall talk about them.

I’m technologically stumped.  I braved the final frontier and finally made use of the domain that had been calling my name for two years now.. I purchased  I also signed up for a very inexpensive support/hosting plan.  Guess what?  I have no idea what I’m doing.  Like, none.  I finally, after two days, figured out how to log into my control panel, but there’s no button that says “Post” or “Publish”, so I’m.. AGAIN.. at a loss.  Which is fine.  I enjoy learning new things, so this will just be one of them.

I’m calling the doctor in the morning.  There are several reasons I should’ve gone earlier, the fact that I’ve been sick as a dog since the wedding being one of them, but when Jenni came home the other day I noticed something that scared me.. I have a growth on my jaw, right beside my ear.  My father had a tumor removed from the same spot when I was 19, so I’m trying not to worry about it.  I also have TMD, which is a poor woman’s excuse to avoid giving blow jobs (ha!), so it could be a result of undue pressure in my jaw.  Either way, the worry is starting to keep me awake at night, and as y’all know.. I may let medical issues go too long, but I sure as hell will not let it mess with my sleep.

I need sunglasses.  I know this sounds like a stupid thing to worry about at 4:15 in the morning, but I can’t find any I like.  And after laying awake for a couple of hours, you find all sorts of nonsensical bullshit to focus on.

I’m ready to be the wife I wanted to be.  Like, I’m gonna cook.  That’s really it.  I already clean house, I already bring home a decent wage, but now I’m going to start cooking.  And because I’ve put on some unwanted holiday weight, I’m going to try and cook healthily.  Which is a challenge, because Bryan hates all things healthy.  So I think this one is going to kill me.  But maybe I’ll be skinny before death.

My biological clock is TICKING.  I am so trying to not be that newlywed, because I really am not in the whole “I need a baby” mode.  I’m not.  I don’t know that I seriously want kids.  Believe me, if you need birth control.. go to the mall on any given night.  Watch the heathen children.  My ovaries shrivel up every time.  But at the same time, there are times when I wonder.. would the baby have my eyes?  And Bryan’s hands?  And then I snap out of it, usually because some heathen child has begun to scream again.

I have a friend who is hurting, and I can do nothing about it.  I won’t go into details here, but it sucks to have your hands tied.  I would fix it all, if I could.

That’s about it.  I leave you with this amazing picture of my husband, playing with the shutter speed the day after Christmas with the new camera..



The Ghost of Christmas (1 Day) Past

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Merry Christmas to the Brown-Comers

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