For Ra:

Driving to callbacks, Elyse and I got to talking about the song Ra and I deplore, “Christmas Shoes”.
Me: I HATE THAT SONG.
E: Ohmygod, I love that song.  It’s one of my favorites.  Mom hates it, too.
Me: We all do, honey.  Because it’s STUPID.  Christmas shoes, really?  Elyse, what child is gonna buy their mom shoes for Christmas?  And how horrible is that father: “Okay, now chilluns, Momma’s probably gonna go meet Jesus tonight, so we better dress her up real nice.”
E: He probably went to the dollar store for the shoes.
Me: Yeah.  Got her some off-brand crocs.
E: Christmas Crocs.
Me: What ALL the good mommas wear when they meet Jesus.