“It begins in a forest where the woodchucks woo, and the leaves wax green, and the vines intertwine like lovers;
try not to see it with your eyes, for they are wise. But see it with your ears: the cool green breathing of the leaves.
And hear it with the inside of your hand: the soundless sound of shadows flicking light.
Celebrate sensation. Recall that secret place.
You’ve been there, you remember:
That special place where once
— just once in your crowded, sunlit lifetime –
you hid away in shadow from the tyranny of time.
.. It is September, before a rainfall.
A perfect time to be in love.”
- “The Fantasticks”
I can tell you so much about it.
I can tell you that I was wearing a powder blue turtleneck sweater. My hair was still up in two identical french braids, meant to be hidden under a wig. My skin was tired from the pancake makeup. It wasn’t cold outside yet, even though we had just started December.
A group was headed out to a bar. I passed. I was tired, and the day’s earlier parade had forced me to park at the Heart of Huntsville mall, which meant I had quite a trek ahead of me. Keboobalah and I air-kissed goodnight, and they left. I had started to gather my things when this man approached. Casual conversation ensued. I mentioned my long hike to my car, and he said, “Why don’t I give you a lift? I’m parked right out here.”
I know my gaze turned nervous. “Are you sure that’s okay?” I asked.
He was wearing a long-sleeve shirt from the Ice Castle in Minneapolis. Oddly enough, I was familiar with it. Things like that can’t be argued with, I told myself. Take the offer.
He also offered to give a ride to our Scrooge that year, and we all three hopped in his car. It smelled well-used. I hummed, “Baby, It’s Cold Outside.” I was wearing teardrop-shaped silver filagree earrings. And I was shivering.
We dropped Scrooge off and said our goodnights. Then the hunt began for my car.
We found it too quickly. He found an empty space near my car and parked. He turned the heat up, because of my apparent cold, and we began to talk. We found ourselves confiding deep, hidden secrets as if we knew eachother well. I realized that he was oddly familiar to me. It was his eyes; I knew them.
He talked like an italian man, his hands flailing wildly. At one point, to emphasize something, he put his hand on my leg. I thought I was going to melt. My shivering intensified. I was so mortified, the great and powerful Sarah Brown brought to such low defenses so quickly; I decided to take an aggressive approach to mask my weakness. I asked him to coffee.
He glanced at the clock. We had been talking nearly an hour.
“I can’t,” he said. “I have things to take care of at home.”
I nodded. I understood. I had been silly to think I stood a chance. I suddenly felt very small.
Two days later, he took me up on the offer.
We’ve been hiding in shadow from the tyranny of time ever since.
