This conversation happened to me.  Today.  For real.

New guy: I think we should rethink Sarah’s processes so new employees can get settled in better.

Me: Okay, I’m open to that.  What would you like to change?

New guy: Well.. my voicemail’s not set up.

Me: Ooh, you’re right.  We should get on that.  Did you follow the Wizard?

New guy: .. Wizard?

Me: Yes, the Voicemail Set-Up Wizard I emailed you.  Did you try that and it didn’t take?

New guy: No.. I didn’t read that email.

Me: Ah. Well, what else can I help you with?

New guy: I’m supposed to be receiving a fax.

Me: Okay..?

New guy: But I don’t know where.

Me: Oh, okay, sure.  What the fax number?  I know all of the machines in this building..

New guy: I don’t know.

Me: .. you don’t know? Um, well.. what number did you give them to fax?

New guy: I don’t know.

So I go downstairs to bitch at Kari, about how there are days when I feel like the only captain aboard a ship of deranged pirates, and she tells me the most messed-up story I’ve ever heard. 

During a long briefing that was being driven by another admin, Kari watched as this clueless admin kept shaking the under-the-desk keyboard every ten minutes.  She watched as, ten minutes, on the dot, this admin would begin violently shaking the desk.  Finally, Kari realized that this admin thought that the automatic screen saver/energy saver was controlled by shaking the keyboard.. rather than, you know, delicately moving the mouse or something.

I guess it’s sink or swim on the admin side.

Admittedly, when I am in a show, cue-to-cue night is my favorite night. 

I have no idea why.  It doesn’t make sense.  It’s long, it’s frustrating, and when you’re working with an OCD director, it’s a lot of standing around and doing nothing.  But I always love it.

WHEN I’M IN A SHOW. 

I went to J&H last night for almost three hours, watching them get started, take some publicity shots, and get through the first two numbers.  Yep, three hours got thru the first two numbers.  Now, don’t mistake what I’m saying.. it looks FABULOUS.  Bryan has outdone himself on the set, and lights are in the most capable hands of Daniel. 

It’s always a very surreal thing, sitting in your high school theatre, with people you’ve done theatre with since you were a youngin, and realizing how long you’ve all been doing this routine together.  Daniel has always been at that board, Viv has always been in the back, Barry has always been in the pit, Bruce has always been grumbling backstage, and I’ve always been pestering all of them.  Now we get to throw “Bryan has always been on the scaffolding” in there.  It’s like a complete set.

I’m incredibly proud of Bryan.  He has worked his ass off on this show, while pulling the usual 8-5 hours at his other job.  This was supposed to be his “summer off”, but he’s stepped up to the plate to be an amazing husband/father/all-around-guy.  Everyone should go see J&H to support him; he’s earned it on this one.

So.. I’ve been given an allowance for my wedding day glory.  I have a set limit for everything I’ll be wearing: crenaline, tiara, shoes, stone bra, etc.  OH.. AND.. the dress.  I get to buy my dress.  I’m trying not to be excited and floofy about that, but.. you know.. I kinda am.  It sounds INCREDIBLY vain and I know that.. but I’m kinda ready to focus on my wedding.  I’m kinda ready to be “The Bride”. 

Anyway, vain rant over.

J&H was so nice last night because I saw people that I love.  Good ole Waterpail (yes, I BEAT HIM UP AND CRAKCED TWO OF HIS RIBS.. SO BACK OFF!), Darin (who broke his nose), Daddy (who is limping).. the Board of Governors is going downhill quickly.  And a surprise visit from Jess, LD, and Dani made my night.  It was like being home again.

Except it was cue-to-cue night, so it sucked.