Okay, so a litre of water later.. here I am. Some peanut butter crackers, a chicken sandwich, and some cherries later, I’m feeling a bit more human.
If you’ve been reading ANY of my stuff from the last two weeks, you may have noticed a trend: I am getting old. Many things have compounded this, but it mainly boils down to the fact that my best friend is having a baby, I’m getting married, and there’s summer shows happening all around us. Typically, during a summer show, Delle and I would stay up four or five nights in a row, drinking heavily, and acting like.. well, kids in their twenties. This summer, I’ve been struggling to stay awake past nine o’clock and working all the damn time.
Last night began my “Widow Week”.. the one week out of every month that I don’t see Bryan and become at theatre widow. It’s something I’ve become accustomed to, and have developed my own rituals.. I SCRUB the house, do all of the laundry, and then eat crazy health food that he won’t touch all week.
To kick off the week, I joined the Coven and their offspring (and Steve) last night. We packed up BB’s little red wagon and trekked down to Big Spring Park to hear some celtic rock. BB and I split a bottle of water, I split a Kitchen Sink with Mother of Steph, and I just plain ole split when BB stripped down to nothing in the middle of the park. We had a fantastic time, with the weather cooperating for just a little bit of time before threatening to downpour, and then we packed up all our gear and headed back to the Hyatt mansion.
On the way home, I felt a strong pang that my half and half were missing.. my better half, who was off building a set, and my half-pint, who was lining up for a baseball game. We passed many dads and kids playing soccer in the fields, and I really, REALLY wished they had been there.
We got home and the Lewallen-Shickles clan headed to pick up some shots of Scout, Mother of Steph headed back to her home, and BB headed out into the garden to play with the light-in-bugs.
Which means, of course, that we broke out the wine.
We sat on the front porch for a good number of hours after that, laughing and talking, and comparing war stories. It was at that point, as a too-cool-for-June breeze passed us, that I realized how much life had changed. That on this lazy summer night, I wasn’t out cavorting with drunk married men or figuring out which bar to hit next.. I had found a stoop that was just as comfortable. BB’s laughter tinkled in the wind, and I thought.. if this is “getting older”.. I’m okay.
We’re getting married. We’re having kids. We’re buying property, refreshing our cars, and finding our places. And it’s okay. We’ve surrounded ourselves with love. And it’s okay.
