We watched “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” last night.

And can I just say.. the family had a nicer BEFORE house than WE do.  That’s not to say that we live in dangerous squalor.  That IS to say that if that family made the cut, we should have applied for the show a LOOOONG time ago.  They had a nice, sprawling, spacious, newly painted house.  The issue?  It was underground.  No windows.  Yes, clearly.. what a travesty.  Thank God ABC was there.

So Ty went in and built them a two story mansion where they each got their own boudouir and dressing area and bathroom and whatever with all new appliances and whatnot.  AND a hottub.  AND A CASTLE OUTBACK.  AND THE CASTLE HAD A MOAT.

We have a backyard with a tree stump.  It’s the base for tag.  WE MAKE DO.

Oh, and there’s dog shit everywhere.

I’m not saying the family didn’t deserve it.  Well, actually, that’s EXACTLY what I’m saying.  Or what I should be saying.. Dude, if they don’t want that underground mansion, fine.  But we would take it in a heartbeat.

That’s all.

I survived!

I survived a buncha stuff this weekend.  Saturday, I decided I wanted to be Steph for a day.  So I got up and went to a Cardio Dance class.  Oddly enough, Steph was there.  We shook it with the best of them, SWEATED for an hour, and basically got an ass-kicking workout and didn’t even know it. (My calves are STILL sore.) Steph got some assistance from some ladies in the class with us (and what really tickled me was that it was on stuff like “step-touch”, which Steph had perfected on her own), and by the end of the class, we had really won everyone over as ‘the two white girls who tried’.  I learned to C-walk!!

After my morning as Steph, I did the natural progression.. I went to Costco.  After realizing why Costco around noon on Saturday was a bad idea (I hate crowds of stupid people, and it was sample time at Costco), I headed over to where, obviously, Steph would go.. BAMM.  Or, “Thomas the Train Store”.  Found BB and Jeff, bought a book and some water, and headed over to Toys R Us to shop for The Boy’s birthday and Delle’s baby shower.

By two o’clock, I was pooped.  I didn’t want to be Steph any more.  I missed being Sarah.  So I went home and, as Sarah can’t help but do, I cleaned.  Hard.  And then I mowed the lawn.  By the time Bryan got home, I was TRULY exhausted.  Which meant it was time to head to a baseball game.  The Boy’s team was obviously tired and NOT wanting to be there, and they were slaughtered, 20 to 6. 

I would also like to say, that in my pursuit of being Steph, I was feeling the burn of the earlier cardio dance class.  I had a text message from my idol when we got home.. “MY ABS R ON FIRE”.

Sunday was D-Day.  Or B-Day, I guess.  Baby Day and Birth Day.  The Boy had a birthday party planned at the bowling alley, and sadly (it was enough to break a stepmomma’s heart), only 3 kids showed. (This is why the stepmomma insists on RSVPing a birthday party.) BUT, I got him the COVETED Superman inflatable chest.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen.. it has a built-in fan that inflates his muscles INSTANTLY.  Don’t hate.  You know you want one.

(Bryan thought it was a stupid gift.  So now I know what not to get HIM.)

Then the baby shower fury began.  I got to Debbie’s around noon, and we hussled to get things set up.  I had worked up a drenching sweat by 12:15.  We worked without pausing till 2:30, and then began working at the actual party.  Around 5:30, we had sat down.  I got home around 6.  But it was a wonderful shower, with lots of love and laughter, and everyone had a fantastic time.  Mom outdid herself on the food, and it was a memorable day.

I look back on this post and wonder how I survive.  But I did.  And I’m better for it.