Patent pending.

I am going to develop a device that intercepts phone calls before a predetermined time every morning.  So, if some woman who was once married to my fiance decides to call on our FIRST MORNING TO SLEEP IN SINCE I DON’T KNOW WHEN, she will get this recording:

Hi there!  You’ve reached 489-5555.  Unfortunately, you have the manners of a mountain goat, so you’ve called at an inappropriate hour.  Unless this is an emergency, you will be prompted to leave a message at the VERY annoying tone, as punishment for your said mountain goat manners.  However, if this is an emergency: HANG UP AND CALL 911.  Thanks, and have a fantastic day!!

 

Then, I won’t be prompted to wake up at 8 a.m. on a Saturday, hunt down a cordless phone, in just enough time for her to STOP calling, and have to throw the phone AS HARD AS I CAN at Bryan, therefore ruining everyone’s morning.

You’ll see me on American Inventor, promise.