When I was younger, say.. high school aged, I firmly believed that my good character, immaculate academic acheivements, and overwhelmingly good karma would pay off. I believed that a secret benefactor would make himself known to me when I turned 18 and therefore needed money. He would pull out his checkbook and happily scribble away, while saying, “Sarah, because you are a good person, here is all you will ever need. A bazillion, gazillion dollars.” Ta da.
So he ran a little late.
I think, you know, he got swept up. He interned for Clinton for awhile, but that wasn’t too his liking (close, but no cigar). Then, I imagine, he VJ’d on MTV. He REALLY liked that, but since they don’t actually play music videos anymore, he’s without a job there. He tried to reach me by boat, but with last year’s hurricane season..
I KNOW he was in Alexandria. One day, on the air, I mentioned how excited I was about a new promotion where we gave away Whoppers from Burger King, because working in radio, that was the only way I could afford food. The next day, a listener (who, I’m sure, was my benefactor) FedExed me $20.
I left Louisiana suddenly, though, and I’m sure that threw him. When I came back, I had gone by so many names that I’m sure I was hard to track down. He probably saw me on the cover of the Arts in Huntsville promo in ‘04, and realized that I was, indeed, back in town and alive, but I actually moved into the Bitter House at that point.
And he was just probably plain ole scared to come in there without an invitation.
The next few years at the Bitter House were usually WAAAY overbooked, and when I wasn’t drunk or busy, I probably was too tired to acknowledge him. He probably came by and rang the doorbell, and being too lazy to talk to him, I just let the dogs loose.
So then I moved out. He probably had NO idea where I went because I didn’t tell anyone where I moved. Not even Delle. Granted, SOME people found out, but for the most part, I had dropped off the map. I’m sure he probably thought I had disappeared for good. And if he really had been tracking me, he probably didn’t blame me.
The other day, we had all gotten back from an outting. Baseball, I think. All I remember is that I was tired and irritated and The Boy hadn’t been listening all morning and we had been at the field all morning and I had to pee so badly.. and the minute I entered the bathroom, closed the door, and had started to undress (while doing the pee-pee dance), I hear a small voice say, “Sarah?”
I have a magic spell that whenever I enter the bathroom, someone else magically HAS to use it. “What, honey?” I say, trying only a little to hide my irritation.
“I love you,” came the little voice.
And then a larger voice, from in the living room. “I love you, too.”
My benefactor, I thought. He finally arrived. He brought me all I will ever need.
(I’m sure the check’s in the mail. I just hope he used one of the new 39cent stamps.)
