I don’t think I’ve seen nearly enough bitching about the price of gas today, so I’m gonna throw my $2.95 in.

I am one of those STUPID individuals who drives from SE Huntsville to the friggin airport every day for work.  Then I solidify my stupidity by driving home.  Which amounts to $50 a week in gas.  If I choose to go nowhere else that week.

So I was stopping in at the Shell Station on the corner of Wall-Triana and Intergraph to fill up my tank, as I do every week.. there’s this old-wives tale that you get better mileage if you have a full tank.. when I noticed something.  It struck me as odd.

See, even before the gas wars began, I’ve been at odds with gas stations.  My biggest pet peeve, and people laughed at me AT THE TIME, is when you start to pump your gas and the first few seconds is nothing but air.  But sure as rain, the meter’s running, and you’re paying for that air.  There is a DFM on the corner of Zeirdt and Martin Rd that I’ve actually gone in and complained to about this.  It gets as high as 10 cents before any gas hits my tank.  Their response was, “It’s inspected.  That’s all we can do.”  Of course, when I pointed out the inspection sticker was a year out of date, they had no response.  So I don’t go there anymore.

However, yesterday, when I stopped in at the Shell, something very odd happened.  My 12-gallon tank miraculously held 13.02 gallons.  I don’t know if it’s developed a secret holding pocket, where it can secure an emergency gallon, but I found this very strange.  I went in to ask about it, and again, they fell back on “Well, it’s inspected.”

As if we’re not screwed out of enough of our hard-earned money for gas, this is what we get?!  I’m having to cancel NetFlix because gas is so outrageously high, and you want to screw me out of another $2.95?!  Sure, you may scoff and say, “Sarah, it’s not even three dollars.  Calm down.”  But look at their location.  They’re packed every morning and rush hour.  And if they do that to every car that pulls up to a pump..

So I’m gonna start doing what ole Thrasher’s there suggests.  DRINK, DON’T DRIVE.

Praise be to Dennis for handing me the giggles last night on-stage.  I got to giggling and he got to giggling and he giggles like my Daddy, which is this high pitched I-am-barely-catching-my-breath giggle, and it was a mess.  It was a blast.

Of course, then we got the lecture about being unprofessional on-stage.

I have much to say on this subject, but as is my custom this week, I’ll only regale you with stories that make me laugh.  Because I have chosen to laugh this week, rather than just spew the ire that I’m internalizing.

Back in the day of quality shows, we used to CONSTANTLY irk each other on-stage.  We would find ways to sneak prop gags in there, or switch out costumes.. there was a consistent fight to see who could overcome the giggles on-stage.  And, believe it or not, everyone was pretty damn good at it.

If there was a menu, book, or some other tableture of a prop, we’d sneak RAUNCHY porn in it.

If there was edible food served, we’d sprinkle chilli powder on it.

If there was a quick exit and return made by a cast-member, sure as hell, someone was mooning them.

But my favorite was IMP’s Big River.  OHMYGOODLORD, there were too many gags in there to even list.  There was the scene were Patrick and Jason were floating down the Missip on their raft, and eating fried chicken and drinkin’.  So, of course, there was extra hot sauce covering the chicken, and we had forgotten to refill their mugs.  Another night, same scene, someone snuck a fake match book on stage, so the whole scene that revolved around them lighting and enjoying their cee-gars had to be improv-ed, since they wouldn’t light.  And during the funeral scene, Patrick and I were right next to eachother, and it was a constant game to see who could make the other break character.  It was fantastic. 

Seconded only to them forgetting Pappy’s knife (same show), and Ron Harris saying, in all sincerity, “Come here, boy.. I’m gonna spoon you to death!”

I’m so ready for this to be over with.