So I was the only one who I thought lived in a constant Seinfeld episode.

Until yesterday.

We were at my celebratory luncheon yesterday, with a few of my guys around, and we were chatting about (what else?) food.  One of the guys got to talking about crawfish (which I can TOTALLY get in on), and one of the other guys brought up lobsters.  “Mmmm,” I said, “.. looobster.”

“I don’t eat lobster anymore,” he said.  I found this outrageous.  Thought ole Mary Tyler Moore and her activism had taken another lobster lover to PETA.  Well, I thought.. more lobster for me.

But I still asked.  “Why?”

And he told this story that even I couldn’t believe.

While visiting in Daytona for a business trip, he was taken a hoity-toity restaraunt.  Everyone was raving about the live Maine lobster there, so that’s what he chose as well.  As I’ve seen done, they brought him the live lobster to see if he approved.  This kinda weirded him out, so without even really inspecting the bug, he said, “Sure, just get it away from me.”

Once he approved the lobster, the server then ripped the tail off of the lobster (at the table!!) and plopped the writhing abdomen next to his plate.  He then left with the tail for it to be cooked.

So all around this table of 12 or so people, there are writhing half-lobsters.  Wiggling.  Dying.

He said it was the most surreal thing he’d ever seen.  And when they finally brought the cooked entree, the lobster was STILL moving.  It severely weirded him out.

And quite honestly, it was one of the more surreal things I’d ever HEARD.  And as much as I love seafood, it may have cured me of my addiction as well.

It always happens when I get frustrated.

I’ve been bitching an awful lot on here lately.  I apologize.  It’s just been a rough few weeks.  I mean, there was that AMAZING three day weekend highlight where I got my sparkly, but that was truly a beacon in an otherwise miserably cloudy sky.

When I get frustrated, I find myself envying.  EVERYONE.  And yes, I try all that shakra shit where you count your blessings and find contentment in what you have, but MAN, that usually just pisses me off more.  I can find something to envy in EVERYONE, if I let myself. 

So I’m trying to keep that in check.  I’m just very frustrated.  And so I’m envying.

I’m envying those in my cast who really DON’T care.  How do they do that?  Where can I sign up for that apathy?

I’m envying those who have decent, running cars.  Especially if they were gifts.

I’m envying those who have the family wealth to make mistakes.

I’m trying to turn this into drive.  I’m trying to be motivated.  I really am.  I really am trying to better our situation and work hard and be the GREAT person that I am in my head.  (The person in my head is also a size 4, so I’m trying to be that too.) And I think I’m outwardly succeeding.

Last night really just pushed me over the edge.  The cast asked for an emergency rehearsal.  I obliged.  Some of us already had plans, but we made do and showed up.  And the one cast member who is leagues behind announces that he can only stay for an hour.  Um, where was this info the night before, when we were rescheduling our Thursday plans to be here?  Another cast member announces that she can’t be there Sunday night (OF TECH WEEK) because she has to work Panoply.  Um, they’re going to be rained out anyway, and JESUSGOD, it’s tech week!

Terri and I just looked at eachother.  We had stopped even throwing our hands up weeks ago.  Now it was almost humorous.

Speaking of humorous, I have an amazingly surreal story to post later.  And so I’ll end this dry rant.