Last night sucked.

Rehearsal was a wash.  I waded through the 2″ of rain and high winds only to be one of three cast members who showed up.  It wasn’t worth the trip, and we hung around (useless) for an hour, in the hopes that the rest of the cast would make it.  Useless.  Pointless.  What’s unfortunate is that I was actually psyched about it.  I was excited about being on stage, laughing till my sides hurt, and feeling validated when I left.

But I did get to see Terri in a wedding dress, so that was worth it.

I got home to catch “Super Nanny”, which I was initally excited about, but it really just agitated me.  The mom of these beautiful seven children (who were a handful, don’t get me wrong) was a TERRIBLE mother.  Horrible.  And she just didn’t care to get better.  Which frustrated the hell out of me.  When there are moms like me out there, who learn and research and ask and try to be the best parents we can.. why does SHE get Super Nanny?

Then we noticed My Baby Mabel.  She had her yearly spring haircut this weekend, which means that she lost three pounds of hair.  She’s been feeling very spritely since then, and VERY affectionate.  She and The Boy spent every waking moment together this weekend.  But last night, we noticed.. she wasn’t feeling all that well.

Bryan got down in the floor to love on her some, and he asked me to join him.. and feel on her back.  Sure enough, GIANT hives had broken out.  And upon further inspection, her muzzle was starting to swell as well. 

Sarah HATES skin disorders.  You have hives?  Show them to me, and I’ll break out into my own.  (I’m itching all over as I write this, matter of fact.)

So we felt all over her, these gigantic welts appearing all over her poor little body.  And her mouth swelled to almost double its size.  Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore, so I stuck a benadryl in some peanut butter and let her go to town.  I slept with her on “the dog couch” (where Charlie was nursing an open sore that we’re also medicating), until I was sure she wouldn’t die, then we went to bed.

This morning, I got up and she was fine.  Back to normal size; no noticeably raised skin.  It just freaked me out a bit, having my baby suffering with such a violent reaction.

So maybe today will be better.  Sun’s out; that’s already a helluva improvement.

I had a weird sort of feeling today.

I remember Spring Break as a child.  I remember how cool it was that Daddy would leave work, come home and have lunch with us, we’d laugh a lot, and then he’d go back to work.  We’d stay home with mom and finish the rest of the day.

I’m Daddy.

I’m scared I’m gonna drop my basket.  I’m scared I’m gonna wake up, three years from now, and just not want to get out of bed.  I’m scared that dreams of law school and/or fame in the media will haunt me.  I’m scared that I’m gonna be that girl “stuck at home in the ‘burbs / with the baby, the dog, and the garden of herbs.”

But, anyway.. I will deal.  There were some really good moments this weekend.  The Boy and I played catch for a good long while, while Bryan tinkered with the lawn mower (which, I do believe, is officially dead).  We took the dogs for a walk every night, and The Boy absolutely BONDED with My Baby Mabel.  Don’t get me wrong; I’m VERY fond of my dog.. but even I was surprised at how they’ve become connected at the hip.  There’s just such a purity to their connection.. she, being completely deaf and the happiest dog I’ve ever seen, and he, just being a care-free 5-year old..

Our fridge is covered with “valentines” that he drew .. there is something in seeing a five-year old write your name that stirs your heart.  We went for ice cream on Saturday night, then came home to watch Harry Potter.  It was, looking back, a very nice weekend.

Tonight, rehearsal for Perky’s.  Although I was initially dreading it (why do I keep saying yes?), we have SUCH FUN at rehearsal that the time quickly flies.  Good times.  I’m actually kind of looking forward to it.

And sleeping while it rains.  That’s what I’m really looking forward to.  With my may-an.

Today makes me feel old.

For several reasons.

The first being that it’s St. Patrick’s day.  Typically, on this day, I can drink for free all night long, just because of the color of my hair and the tint of my skin.  I have not an Irish chromosome in me, but I look Irish enough that I never have to buy a drink on St. Patty’s day.  However, because I’m old now, I won’t go out drinking.  I’ll be home.  With my husband and The Boy.  At least there’s wine there.

The second reason I feel old?  Spring Break starts this next week.  And me?  Yeah, I’m working.  No beach, no mountains, no nothing.. just working.  Getting paid, I suppose, is worth it.. but sometimes, I miss the spontaneity of youth.  I remember sleeping in till noon with my roommate, then trekking down to the complex’s swimming pool, laying out for hours, then stumbling back to get ready for the night ahead.  I remember how nice that was.  And I feel old.

Especially since my husband and The Boy will be home all week.  WHILE I’M WORKING.

You should not lose Spring Break when you become a working adult.  If anything, WE NEED IT more than the kids do.  Most of the managers around my workplace are taking the week off (or some portion thereof).  But I’ll be working.  And not getting tan.  Or drunk.  Or laid.

All of you working adults who have been at it longer than I have are, most likely, laughing at me.  Because I’m new to this “old” thing.  I’m getting accustomed to it, don’t worry.  And I’m trying not to be bitter.  I’m trying not to hate Bryan for being at home next week (it’s obviously not his fault), for eating food that I bought and want to eat with him, for having the sunshine the full length of the day.. argh.

Maybe a tanning session would fix it.  The high dose of UV A & B rays will raise my spirits.

Happy St. Patty’s Day.  If you’re out tonight, tell ‘em you know a redhead, and tip one up for me.