You know, y’all haven’t heard me rant in a while.

I’ve been fairly mundane.  Hell, it’s been borderline boring.  I actually let loose on one rant, felt it too vitrolic, and retracted it.. all within a half hour timespan.  But I’ve got a little rant here.

I’M BORED.

I don’t talk about my job on here.  I’m very careful about that.  But there’s been this overwhelming gnawing feeling at me lately.. so, that.. that, I have to talk about.

I think I’m more than competent at my job.  I’d be willing to say I’m “damn good” at my job.  But, you know, I just don’t know that THIS is what I want to be doing for the rest of my life.

This is what’s safe.  This pays the bills (somewhat).  And this is secure (a little bit).

But I studied communications.  I worked in media and public relations.  I THRIVED THERE.  And here I am, living in “Office Space”.  I know I’m supposed to swallow it as part of “being a grown up”, but I want to quit my job and go follow my dreams of becoming an on-air newsanchor.  I want to anchor the 10 o’clock news.  I want to be something.

I think what REALLY spawned this is money.  If I were getting paid a significant amount of change, I could deal with a cube-world.  But I’m not.  I’m getting paid the market average of an applicant with no college degree. (FYI, kids fixing to graduate high school.. GO TO COLLEGE.  GET A DEGREE.  I know people will tell you “Look how well I’m doing and I have no degree!” but that’s crap.  You could buy and sell that person if you had a degree.)

I want to be around people.  I want each day to have a new challenge.  I want to be needed and valued for what I do.  I want.. I want that job that pays shit but I love.  I want to quit the job that puts me in a different tax bracket so I can follow my heart and work for the city.

Instead, I’ll just be at my desk tomorrow. 

But if you read this and you reach a crossroads, choose the OTHER way.  And think of me.

“But I don’t want to be a Bridezilla!”

“You’d have to start acting like a bride to be a starting Bridezilla.”

She was right.  She had asked how my planning was going.  I said, “Great.  We open Perky’s in a month.”  She said, no, the wedding.  And I realized.. I am the worst bride ever.

I have found a man that I love.  I love him enough to stand in front of my close friends and family and say, “I choose you.”  That’s pretty damn big, especially for moi.. the perpetual bachelorette.

But there’s this whole wedding thing that you have to do along side it.  And I find it pretty daunting.

Baby steps.  I just have to do baby steps.

I called EarlyWorks yesterday to inquire about the Grand Hall’s availability.  I was expecting them to say it was booked, so I could go back to the safety of the drawing board.  But, no.. it was available.  So if you call now and ask, they’ll say, “Sorry.  There’s a wedding booked on that day.”

(Which, really, is kind of exciting.)

Steph asked me about my shower today.  The WildeChicks are throwing the lingerie party, and Delle and fam are doing the traditional shower.  I can’t wait for both.. but I have to, like, tell them when to have it.  And tell them who to invite.  I’m not there yet.

(Although, admittedly, I can’t wait to be there.)

There’s a bridal show in Atlanta.. a hoity-toity show that I’m sure includes some KILLER swag.. and I think Bryan and I should go and make a weekend of it.  (”We should go.. meet the whalesharks.”) Delle’s gonna hook me up with a potential caterer when she gets home.  And the girls are all looking at bridesmaids dresses.

OHMYGOD, I’M GETTING MARRIED.