.. and I just had a vision, almost like a prophecy…

Sometimes, there’s magic and inspiration in the most unlikely of places.

Like.. in a dive restaurant..

Complacency never lasts long with me.

So.. the Ides?  I kicked its ass.

I cleaned my house.  SCRUBBED IT.  It looks like we’re doing an open house to sell the thing.  Everything was in its place, everything smelled great, and I was done by ten.  So I slept on the couch for a little bit.

Then I called my sister and chatted for an hour.

Then I ran to Madison to play with the puppies out there.

Then.. the Ides lost.

I drove the 13.57 miles to the Women’s and Children’s Center.  And I got to meet the new love of my life.. Baby Scout. 

It was one of the single most amazing things I’ve ever been privy to.  Ronda, a cohort who I’ve always thought beautiful, had this amazing, reverent, ambient glow to her.  She looked grounded, strong, ready.. but still very warm, loving, and compassionate.  And every time she held that fragile being close to her, you saw her eyes melt.

At first, I admired Scout from a distance.  Babies terrify me.  And this baby?  SO small, SO tiny.. SO not needing to be in my arms.  And everyone must’ve felt that, as they all jumped up when I arrived to say “hi” and then followed with, “DO NOT SQUEEZE HER HEAD.”  The lovely Jamie also had made her way in for a visit, so good times were had by all.

Finally, I made my way over next to the bed, and Scout blessed us with a present.  A messy diaper.  Oh, I had HEARD about the tar-like diapers the first day, but I had NEVER imagined.. Sweetie came and changed Scout next to me, and I couldn’t help but marvel over Scout’s every feature.. right down to her itty, bitty butt. (The WildeChicks are not a small-assed group, so this was something to gawk at.)

Then, Ronda looked at me and said, “You want to hold her?  If you wash your hands, you can hold her.  It’s okay.”  So I hesitantly made my way to the sink, with all of the images of how I could mess this poor little thing up, how I could ruin her first two days on the planet.. and went back to the couch.

And then I was handed the baby. 

She felt right in my arms.  This is not to say that I’m going to abscond with Scout, but it amazed me how natural holding this baby.. ANY baby.. felt.  I found myself gently tapping her tummy with a rhythmic pattern.  Her eyes fluttered rapidly, and I couldn’t help but hum the lines from that BareNaked Ladies song.. “When you dream, what do you dream about?  Do you dream about music, or mathematics, or planets too far for the eye..?”

And like everyone else who held her, I couldn’t stop looking at her.  It’s the same dissection your eyes do when you see miniature doll houses or model cars or Lionel Train sets.. you’re amazed that so much FANTASTIC detail can exist on such a small level.  Her perfect little nose.. those ears..

Uncle Sarah was enraptured.

Later, that night, when I was falling asleep in Madison, I was struck with a sudden terror.  My fingers fumbled to dial the number I HAD to call, and I heard that familiar tone on the other end.. “Hey, gorgeous.. what’s up?”

I tried to steady my voice.  “Hey!  I was just.. well, I was wondering.. thinking, really.. have I convinced you to not have children with me?”

He laughed.  “I’m letting you figure things out,” he said.

I took a deep breath.  “Cause.. I mean.. I could just kinda maybe see us..”

I could hear him smile on the other end.  “It will be perfect, either way.”

He’s right.  Because, on this Ides (and many more henceforth), the bad luck ends.  It was a perfect day.