I’m sitting up at Lee.  Why, you may ask?  Because I got the dreaded phone call at four o’clock today..

.. wait, before I get into that, let me just say that I understand why people do marriage now.  I got it.  I realized it today, when I had been through the day from hell, was exhausted to the point of no return, and got that dreaded phone call at four o’clock today..

.. the one that says, “We have no power.”

“What?”  I say, while desperately trying to run through the bills in mind.  I had paid just three or four days ago.. hadn’t I?  Or had I?  I know I went to the page, but I was at work.. maybe I hadn’t fully gone through the process.. shit.  Shit shit shit.  “Why do we not have power?”  I was saying a silent puhleeze-don’t-let-it-be-my-fault prayer.  I was hoping for a transformer explosion.  A squirrel zapping.  ANYTHING.

“Um, I think for non-payment,” he says.  His congestion sounds terrible.  And, of course, I hear The Boy in the background.  Shit.  Shit shit shitty shit shit.

“Okay..” I say.  And really have nothing else.  I’m in Madison.  I call the utilities company almost in tears, and they say that my account is subject to cut-off TODAY (reheheheally?), and I should submit payment IN PERSON to the payment office downtown.  Have I mentioned shit?  Let me just say right now.. SHIT.

And while I’m sitting with the automated system, trying to explain to them how tired I am and how stressed out work has made me and how I’ve had to deal with this one incredibly dense and irate individual all friggin day long, the other line rings.  It’s Bryan again.  I click over, hella embarrassed.  Mortified.  I am a lousy breadwinner, I decide.  I should be fired.

“.. hello?” I say whimper. 

“I’m gonna head downtown and make a payment.  No big deal.  I just don’t know what to do about dinner.”

Now, THAT I could handle.  But damnit, I felt like such a moron.  I thought I had been doing really well with keeping all of the VM activities broadcast and organized, keeping work moving at a steady pace, and keeping the house in some semblence of order while the tech week of a Lyric show ensued and Bryan fought off the crud.  Turns out, I sucked it all up.  I should be fired.

So we headed back up here, to the school.  The Boy and I had fun.  I just want to say that.. The Boy and I had fun.  It sounds foreign.  We played.  HARD.  We ran around, played hide & go seek, played computer games.  He was perfect.  We read a little bit, even.  It was just.. it was a really shitty day.  From beginning to end, pretty much.  Steph was at home (and I MISSED HER), I really did have some guy rip me up all day long, and then I deprived my family of electricity.  And then, in some blinding light of forgiveness, I was pitied.  God looked down and said, “That poor little redhead has teeniny shoulders.. I should take some of that shit off.”

And he did.  It happened when The Boy turned me to, laughing hysterically, and said, “You know, Sarah, I’m having a lot of fun.”